A state of naivety

This month is focused on honoring military children.  Today specifically was a day to wear purple to show support.  As I think about the path we find ourselves in, I think of the lack of understanding and just lack of knowledge that our boys will come along.  

I think about myself as a child and how naive I was to the whole aspect of the military lifestyle.  We lived near an Air Force Base, but it was a relatively small one and represented a small part of the population of our town.  My best friend was an Air Force brat, but I didn't really think about that being a part of who she was.  I knew she had moved in a couple years before, but outside of that I didn't see anything different.  Then a month or so after everything was over with Operation: Desert Storm, her dad came in to talk to our class about his deployment.  We had all heard about what took place, but it didn't really hit home.  It was something so far away, something that didn't affect us.  My friend had acted a little weird and mentioned that her dad had to be gone for a little bit, but a direct connection wasn't made...  I was completely naive.

 

Although I can never put myself in the position of a military child, I know that my boys will cross other kids who were like I was, other kids who are naive about what being a military child means.  For my boys and so many others, it means many missed birthdays and holidays, it means not getting to talk to daddy for days, if not weeks, it means saying goodbye a lot more often than they ever would like to - I could go on for days.  

Looking back now, knowing the challenges that have taken place and that will continue to come for the boys, I know that there were so many other things I could have done to be a support to my friend. I also hope that as this road continues and we find ourselves moving around and continuing to have the regular separations that the children our boys come across will do better about taking the time to understand.

Semi-charmed life

Earlier tonight, as I was going through the seemingly endless process of unpacking, I thought of this life in general.  It's very easy to focus on the negative.  I know I have had some of those feelings the last few weeks.  Our household goods arrived less than 12 hours before my husband reported before WOCs, that meant for the next month and a half I was going to be trying to keep our two young boys entertained, trying to keep from overdoing it with my back and making an ongoing attempt to unpack.  Obviously it's not the ideal situation, but we make it work.

All of that being said, I can't count the number of times I've heard the comment 'I don't know how you do it'.  The answer to that is simple, yet complicated.  Almost as many times as I've heard that comment I've also heard the comment of 'oh, you've been able to travel to so many places'.

Here's the breakdown of things.  This is a difficult life, BUT there is so many things that make it worth it... So here we go:

1. We love our soldier
2. The long waits are worth the kiss and embrace when they are home
3. The wait sucks, but it gives us a chance to show that although the Army calls us dependents that we are completely independent.
4. On the same note of the wait sucks - I have an ongoing list of things I enjoy doing that tends to get pushed to the side when my husband is home.  I'm not trying to push him out the door by any means, but if he has to be gone, I might as well make the best of situation.
5. We live in more places than most people will ever travel.  We have the opportunity to discover different states of even different countries because we are there for at least a year or two.
6. If you aren't a fan of your neighbor, chances are they will be moving sooner than later.
7. We have the pleasure to truly cherish the moments we are together.  It's easy to take someone for granted when they are there for every day or for every holiday.  We don't have that stability, so when they are here, we make the most of them.
8. We raise some pretty darn amazing kids.  Before we had kids, I watched some other military children and was just amazed at the people they were.
9. Long term friends are made in weeks, not in years.  When you go through rough times together, you tend to build that relationship much more quickly.
10.  Same friend will take your child(ren) at the drop of a hat, whether it's for a last minute appointment, when you just need a little bit of a break or when your water breaks sooner than expected and you find yourself rushing to the hospital in labor at 4am.
11. There is no spring cleaning, there is the PCS purge and the he's coming home, hurry and clean.
12.  'Keep in touch' has a very different meaning, it's in Skype calls and random texts here and there.  It doesn't matter where you have moved or how long since you have talked.
13.  We understand making the most of a situation.  That darn deployment gnome always shows up at the worst time - the lawn mover quits working, you run out of propane, your car breaks down, one child had lice/poison ivy/chicken pox or any combination of the above and you have them quantized to prevent the other child(ren) from getting them.  We know how to change a tire and change the oil.  We know how to knit and fire a weapon.
14. We have fellow spouses and their soldier who make sure we are taken care of when our husband is gone, because they know the same will be gone for their spouse when the situation is reversed.
15.  EVERYTHING and I mean EVE-RY-THING has a regulation.  There is something in black and white print that explains anything you could ever have any questions about.
16.  The saying 'the bad times make the good times better' is a daily part of our life.
17.  We love our soldier!

For me, I never thought I would find myself married to a soldier.  I NEVER thought I would meet him in Iraq.  But six years into our marriage and we are finally getting to that point in that time that we have been together at least half of it.  Sure this life comes with challenges, but it also comes with great rewards, rewards we wouldn't get with any other path.