For the last few years there has been an event back home called the Troop Support Ride. This like many of the events and activities that riders across the country participate in and run are not always understood by the majority of people.
I've never participated in the Troop Support Ride because we have been overseas during the time it has been active, but both my husband and I have been on the receiving end. The riders that participate in the TSR start planning for the next year, the day after the event is over. They fund raise and find sponsors, they collect items and plan. And the end result is sending hundreds of care packages to soldiers who are currently deployed.
I happen to know a good number of the people that participate in these kinds of events, they have supported my husband and I throughout our time in service, through deployments, welcomed us home and sent us off again. But for most that receive these boxes, they don't know nor will they probably ever meet.
During both of my deployments, I have had amazing support from my family, but what always floored me was the boxes and letters that people from across the states had sent. People I would never meet saying how much my service meant to them and how they wanted us to have a little comfort of home, whether it was a little Christmas tree, homemade cookies or something as simple as a homemade card from a child who had done their rendition of a flag or a soldier. Many of the letters and cards I still have tucked away in a box.
When you are deployed and you receive that random box from someone you don't know, it takes you aback. It helps you to realize that there are other people out there besides your immediate family and friends that know where you are and appreciate what you are doing. Not only are they aware, but they have actively made an effort to let you know they support you. Mail is one of those things that is listed as a morale lifter and for good reason... a good number of days during deployment just plain suck, whether it has just been excessively hot, you didn't get a chance to eat or on those horrible days when one of your missions was a Hero Mission. When you arrive back and stop by to check to see if you have mail and there is a box or letter waiting for you, it shows a light at the end of the tunnel.
Too many times, troops are extremely busy forward and they don't always have the chance to write a thank you to these individuals, so often they don't know the impact they have made. But all those hours planning events like the Troop Support Ride or a send off/welcome home or any other event that supports our troops is beyond appreciated by those who reap the benefits of that work. I know I am just one former soldier, but if I could have captured the looks on service members faces over the years as they have received these boxes or received a welcome home - it would be clear how much all of this truly means. So from the bottom of my heart - Thank you!!!
Monday, April 30, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
It's amazing how people come into our lives
I was walking through the craft section at Wal-Mart Friday night trying to find something to add to a project I was working on. A small package of purple beads caught my eye. I glanced down at the rubber bracelet I had been wearing for a couple months in honor of Kathy, a family friend who had been battling cancer, and the words were barely readable. Friday had been a month since she had lost her fight with cancer.
I quickly started going through the other beads and looking at the other components that I would need to make what I was envisioning. The concept was there, but the final product was going to be iffy. Once we were home, I sat down and started putting everything together.
The final product actually looked like what I had pictured. I was pretty proud of my first piece of jewelry, so like many people I took a picture and shared it on facebook. I didn't think anything of it until someone asked me how much I would charge for them. I posted the price annotating that half of the price would be going into the donations for the half marathon walk I'm doing later this year for cancer research. I was suprised that by yesterday afternoon, there were orders for nine bracelets.
So today I found myself back at Wal-Mart trying to get everything I would need to make those and a few extras. As I was checking out, the lady working the register stopped as she was ringing up the beads and made a comment about how pretty they were. I showed her my bracelet and explained the whole thing including who they were in honor of and where the money that was made from them was going.
She stopped for a second and then went on to tell me that her dad had participated in some walks for cancer research in the past and she continued by telling me that he had multiple melanoma. She paused again for a second and told me that she had just found out that she had cervical cancer. I was floored. The look on her face told that she was having trouble still saying it and it seemed that this is something she hadn't shared with many people. I think she had even surprised herself by saying it. She told me that she was always interested in supporting a good cause and asked for a way to contact me. I gave her a few of my photography cards and said good-bye.
As I walked out to my car, I was fighting back tears... This woman had maintained a smile on her face, while she explained all of this and the fact that she had three small children. She had told me how much of a blessing her children were in keeping that smile on her face and how she believed that's why God gave them to us. It was an extremely humbling experience, it's truly amazing how God works in our life.
I quickly started going through the other beads and looking at the other components that I would need to make what I was envisioning. The concept was there, but the final product was going to be iffy. Once we were home, I sat down and started putting everything together.
The final product actually looked like what I had pictured. I was pretty proud of my first piece of jewelry, so like many people I took a picture and shared it on facebook. I didn't think anything of it until someone asked me how much I would charge for them. I posted the price annotating that half of the price would be going into the donations for the half marathon walk I'm doing later this year for cancer research. I was suprised that by yesterday afternoon, there were orders for nine bracelets.
So today I found myself back at Wal-Mart trying to get everything I would need to make those and a few extras. As I was checking out, the lady working the register stopped as she was ringing up the beads and made a comment about how pretty they were. I showed her my bracelet and explained the whole thing including who they were in honor of and where the money that was made from them was going.
She stopped for a second and then went on to tell me that her dad had participated in some walks for cancer research in the past and she continued by telling me that he had multiple melanoma. She paused again for a second and told me that she had just found out that she had cervical cancer. I was floored. The look on her face told that she was having trouble still saying it and it seemed that this is something she hadn't shared with many people. I think she had even surprised herself by saying it. She told me that she was always interested in supporting a good cause and asked for a way to contact me. I gave her a few of my photography cards and said good-bye.
As I walked out to my car, I was fighting back tears... This woman had maintained a smile on her face, while she explained all of this and the fact that she had three small children. She had told me how much of a blessing her children were in keeping that smile on her face and how she believed that's why God gave them to us. It was an extremely humbling experience, it's truly amazing how God works in our life.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Boards
One of the 'events' that most enlisted soldiers find themselves in at some point in time are Soldier of the Month boards. I was no exception to this... My first board was a few months into my first deployment and lets just say I flopped, miserably.
About eight months later, I was sent to the Battalion Soldier of the Month board again. Since it was the last opportunity individuals who were trying to get recommended for the promotion board had to be recommended, there was a total of 22 soldiers competing. There were also ten NCOs competing for NCO of the month and promotion board recommendation. My last name started with an S, so I became the bottom of the list of 'compete'. The board began at 9am and it was 830pm before I finally went in. I did very well and ended up finishing on top.
A month later, I found myself at the Brigade board. I came in second there, which was a good thing. The division board was two weeks from that time and I was in the middle of my APART (annual flight evaluations) and finals for my college classes.
The remainder of the deployment and my time at Fort Hood I managed to avoid these boards.
It started all over again when I got to Germany. Our 1SG made all soldiers being considered for promotion attend a company Soldier of the Month board before being recommended for promotion. Within my first 60 days in the unit, I attended and won the board and was recommended for promotion.
I attended my promotion board a few weeks later and about halfway through, the CSM stopped the 1SGs from asking questions and told me to say the NCO Creed. I said the creed and then he promptly kicked me out of the board. As I stood outside, I thought I had done something wrong until my sponsor came out. He had a huge smile on his face and my nerves calmed for the most part. Later in the day when the scores were read I had received 150 out of 150.
This prompted a whole other round of attendance at boards though. Just three weeks after I was officially pinned SGT, I was at my first NCO of the Quarter board for Battalion. I ended up coming in second because the total points counted weapons qual and more recent APFT (I was on a permanent profile for my back, so points are calculated differently). I assumed that had ended me being a 'Board Baby'. Was I ever wrong!!
When the next quarter board came up, the CSM told me I WOULD be there. I attended and this time I won the board, so off to the Brigade board I went. I took first at the Brigade board, but by saving grace, I would be able to attend the NCO of the year board. Our company was offset from everyone else for deployment at the time, so the NCO of the year board was going to take place a couple months into our deployment. That didn't stop them from talking about sending me back from Iraq to compete in the board.
A little over a year later, I found myself in my last board. I was standing in front of the CSM and 1SGs in this capacity for the last time as I tried at attain promotable status to SSG (Staff Sergeant). I walked out of that board promotable. Within a month, my medical board was initiated and less than a year later I was medically retired. When I was going through the boards and all the studying and prep, I hated it. Looking back now, I know that a lot of that 'useless' knowledge I had memorized as fallen into place in many different situations and continues to now.
About eight months later, I was sent to the Battalion Soldier of the Month board again. Since it was the last opportunity individuals who were trying to get recommended for the promotion board had to be recommended, there was a total of 22 soldiers competing. There were also ten NCOs competing for NCO of the month and promotion board recommendation. My last name started with an S, so I became the bottom of the list of 'compete'. The board began at 9am and it was 830pm before I finally went in. I did very well and ended up finishing on top.
A month later, I found myself at the Brigade board. I came in second there, which was a good thing. The division board was two weeks from that time and I was in the middle of my APART (annual flight evaluations) and finals for my college classes.
The remainder of the deployment and my time at Fort Hood I managed to avoid these boards.
It started all over again when I got to Germany. Our 1SG made all soldiers being considered for promotion attend a company Soldier of the Month board before being recommended for promotion. Within my first 60 days in the unit, I attended and won the board and was recommended for promotion.
I attended my promotion board a few weeks later and about halfway through, the CSM stopped the 1SGs from asking questions and told me to say the NCO Creed. I said the creed and then he promptly kicked me out of the board. As I stood outside, I thought I had done something wrong until my sponsor came out. He had a huge smile on his face and my nerves calmed for the most part. Later in the day when the scores were read I had received 150 out of 150.
This prompted a whole other round of attendance at boards though. Just three weeks after I was officially pinned SGT, I was at my first NCO of the Quarter board for Battalion. I ended up coming in second because the total points counted weapons qual and more recent APFT (I was on a permanent profile for my back, so points are calculated differently). I assumed that had ended me being a 'Board Baby'. Was I ever wrong!!
When the next quarter board came up, the CSM told me I WOULD be there. I attended and this time I won the board, so off to the Brigade board I went. I took first at the Brigade board, but by saving grace, I would be able to attend the NCO of the year board. Our company was offset from everyone else for deployment at the time, so the NCO of the year board was going to take place a couple months into our deployment. That didn't stop them from talking about sending me back from Iraq to compete in the board.
A little over a year later, I found myself in my last board. I was standing in front of the CSM and 1SGs in this capacity for the last time as I tried at attain promotable status to SSG (Staff Sergeant). I walked out of that board promotable. Within a month, my medical board was initiated and less than a year later I was medically retired. When I was going through the boards and all the studying and prep, I hated it. Looking back now, I know that a lot of that 'useless' knowledge I had memorized as fallen into place in many different situations and continues to now.
Friday, April 27, 2012
SPAM!
During my time in the MEDEVAC in Germany, we pulled med duty at both Grafenwohr and Hohenfels any time there was training going on. The crews would go out and stay for about a week at a hooch that had been established there until the next crew came out at the end of a week to rotate.
Since most rotations were pretty quiet (a very good thing), we did quite a few training flights while we were out there. The first rotation I was on, I was actually doing my refresher training since it had been a year since I had flown. During one of our training flights, we had left one of the pilots at the hooch (we had three out on the rotation with us). As we were landing and shutting down, we saw fire trucks screaming down the road next to the flight line.
Our first thought was that the trucks were heading the hangar that the OC (Observer-Controllers) used for their aircraft. That thought went out the window when the trucks turned in next to the hooch. The aircraft was almost completely shut down, so the pilot told us to go see what was going on.
We quickly headed down off the flight line and worked our way around the fire trucks to see what was going on. As we walked around to the front of the hooch, we could see fans running in the doorways. Finally, we saw the pilot who had been there and a couple of the firefighters.
Apparently, the whole ruckus had been caused by some SPAM that had been overcooked and started smoking bad enough that it had set off the detectors. Since it was the middle of January, leaving the doors and windows weren't the best option so the rest of the week it smelled like burnt SPAM throughout the hooch. The pilot left there with a new nickname and a few pictures to remember the event by....
Since most rotations were pretty quiet (a very good thing), we did quite a few training flights while we were out there. The first rotation I was on, I was actually doing my refresher training since it had been a year since I had flown. During one of our training flights, we had left one of the pilots at the hooch (we had three out on the rotation with us). As we were landing and shutting down, we saw fire trucks screaming down the road next to the flight line.
Our first thought was that the trucks were heading the hangar that the OC (Observer-Controllers) used for their aircraft. That thought went out the window when the trucks turned in next to the hooch. The aircraft was almost completely shut down, so the pilot told us to go see what was going on.
We quickly headed down off the flight line and worked our way around the fire trucks to see what was going on. As we walked around to the front of the hooch, we could see fans running in the doorways. Finally, we saw the pilot who had been there and a couple of the firefighters.
Apparently, the whole ruckus had been caused by some SPAM that had been overcooked and started smoking bad enough that it had set off the detectors. Since it was the middle of January, leaving the doors and windows weren't the best option so the rest of the week it smelled like burnt SPAM throughout the hooch. The pilot left there with a new nickname and a few pictures to remember the event by....
Thursday, April 26, 2012
We don't want your brain to boil
During my last FTX (Field Exercise) in basic training, I came down with the flu. The weather wasn't the greatest, it was early February in South Carolina and it has been sleeting, rainy and cold the whole time, which probably hadn't helped the situation. I was taken to the hospital and spent the next day on quarters with IVs hooked up.
Each morning, a doctor came through and evaluated whether you could go back out to your training unit. I was still running a low grade fever, so the doctor wanted to keep me there for another day. Throughout the whole cycle, the drill sergeants had been telling us that if we missed so much of certain training events and missed the final ruck march (13 miles) in from the field that we wouldn't be able to graduate and would be moved to another BCT unit to complete the training. My parents had already purchased plane tickets to come out and I didn't want to get shifted back, I wanted to complete training on time with my battle buddies.
I begged the doctor to release me and after about 15 minutes of going back and forth, he told me he would release me, but he would keep the bed set up since he knew I would be back within 24 hours. I considered what he said for about two seconds before I asked again for him to release me and he did. I was taken back out to my unit in the field. I arrived back in time to help tear everything down and to pack my rucksack for the march.
I was feeling okay as we headed out. As the sun started to set and it started getting cooler, I couldn't seem to keep up with my nose running and I'm not sure how tactical sneezing is, but I tried to cover the sound as much as possible. By about halfway through, I was feeling pretty cruddy. Finally, as we were marching down the street that we all knew led back to the our basic training barracks, we all felt the sense of accomplishment. We still had over a mile before we would be in the clear, but we had 12 miles in our rear view.
As we arrived back to the barracks, there was a bonfire going and music to celebrate the completion of training. Everything from that point forward was the outprocessing and graduation of BCT. After the ceremony was complete and we had each received our Army Values tag, we went inside to have cookies and punch. This may seem a little weird, but after not being able to have sweets during training, it was a reward.
By this point, I still wasn't feeling well, so I said something to one of the Drill Sergeants. He sent me to the duty Drill Sergeant to have my temperature taken, it was 104.3. The duty Drill told me to go up to my locker and back a bag with a couple nights worth of personal hygiene and clothing. I was upstairs less than ten minutes getting everything together and then I reported back down to the duty Drill. He told me that an ambulance had been called to take me to the hospital and he decided to check my temperature again. It had risen to 104.7.
About that time, the commander walked out of his office and was told I was the soldier being sent to the hospital. In a poor attempt to comfort me, he looked me square in the eye and told me in a voice like he was explaining something to a two year old that they had called an ambulance for me because they didn't want my brain to boil. At the time, all I could think was 'is this guy serious?!?', he already proven to be a little less than intelligent, so this kind of encouragement just topped the cake.
I was taken to the hospital and ended up being there for two more days and missed the huge dinner to celebrate the end of BCT, but I finished all my training and was able to graduate with the rest of my rotation the following Friday.
Each morning, a doctor came through and evaluated whether you could go back out to your training unit. I was still running a low grade fever, so the doctor wanted to keep me there for another day. Throughout the whole cycle, the drill sergeants had been telling us that if we missed so much of certain training events and missed the final ruck march (13 miles) in from the field that we wouldn't be able to graduate and would be moved to another BCT unit to complete the training. My parents had already purchased plane tickets to come out and I didn't want to get shifted back, I wanted to complete training on time with my battle buddies.
I begged the doctor to release me and after about 15 minutes of going back and forth, he told me he would release me, but he would keep the bed set up since he knew I would be back within 24 hours. I considered what he said for about two seconds before I asked again for him to release me and he did. I was taken back out to my unit in the field. I arrived back in time to help tear everything down and to pack my rucksack for the march.
I was feeling okay as we headed out. As the sun started to set and it started getting cooler, I couldn't seem to keep up with my nose running and I'm not sure how tactical sneezing is, but I tried to cover the sound as much as possible. By about halfway through, I was feeling pretty cruddy. Finally, as we were marching down the street that we all knew led back to the our basic training barracks, we all felt the sense of accomplishment. We still had over a mile before we would be in the clear, but we had 12 miles in our rear view.
As we arrived back to the barracks, there was a bonfire going and music to celebrate the completion of training. Everything from that point forward was the outprocessing and graduation of BCT. After the ceremony was complete and we had each received our Army Values tag, we went inside to have cookies and punch. This may seem a little weird, but after not being able to have sweets during training, it was a reward.
By this point, I still wasn't feeling well, so I said something to one of the Drill Sergeants. He sent me to the duty Drill Sergeant to have my temperature taken, it was 104.3. The duty Drill told me to go up to my locker and back a bag with a couple nights worth of personal hygiene and clothing. I was upstairs less than ten minutes getting everything together and then I reported back down to the duty Drill. He told me that an ambulance had been called to take me to the hospital and he decided to check my temperature again. It had risen to 104.7.
About that time, the commander walked out of his office and was told I was the soldier being sent to the hospital. In a poor attempt to comfort me, he looked me square in the eye and told me in a voice like he was explaining something to a two year old that they had called an ambulance for me because they didn't want my brain to boil. At the time, all I could think was 'is this guy serious?!?', he already proven to be a little less than intelligent, so this kind of encouragement just topped the cake.
I was taken to the hospital and ended up being there for two more days and missed the huge dinner to celebrate the end of BCT, but I finished all my training and was able to graduate with the rest of my rotation the following Friday.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Hero Missions
During my first deployment, I was assigned to an Air Assault battalion. Although, we did many different missions besides the occasional assault, there is one that was more difficult than the rest.
My first Hero Mission was at the tail end of my progression. As we were landing at the hospital pad in Washington (downtown Baghdad) to pick up the KIA (killed in action) soldier, I wasn't sure what to expect. The FI, the other crew chief and I all got out of the helicopter and stood at attention waiting for them to bring the soldier out. Once the medical crew had verified it was okay to approach, they proceeded forward with the stretcher that had an American flag draped over it, which covered the black body bag that was underneath. As they proceeded closer, the rotor wash from the helicopter started blowing the flag around and the body bag became visible. The medical crew worked diligently to try to keep the flag in place.
As they approached the aircraft, the other crew members and I saluted as the stretcher was moved in front of us. We helped the medical personnel place the soldier in the aircraft and get him properly secured. My hands were shaking, I tried to steady them, but it wasn't working. As we made the flight from Washington to BIAP (Baghdad International Airport) for the soldier to be transitioned to be taken back to the States, the only sound you would hear was the sound of the helicopter blades.
When we took off from BIAP and were heading back to Taji for the end of our missions, little was said. Although normally, there is chatter going on between the crew to try to keep things a little lighter, this wasn't the time. Even though we had already provided the transport for the soldier, we each now carried a weight with us, as we knew that somewhere on the other side of the world there was a family that was being notified that their soldier had been killed.
After landing and shut down, we went through our typical post flight and closing out of the flight. I had been fighting back tears the whole time, there was an overflow of emotions I was feeling, but I was trying to 'appear' like things didn't affect me because I was still the only female door gunner in our brigade and working around all guys - that appearance of strength was a necessity.
Before I headed 'home' for the night, the FI stopped me and wanted to talk for a few minutes. He wanted to check on me after the Hero Mission. He then enlightened me to his thoughts - no matter how much any of these guys act like those kind of missions don't affect them, don't believe it for one minute. He told me that many of them held things in until they got back to their room at night or until they could find a quiet place and reflect on it alone. The bottom line - having the honor of transporting a soldier that has was KIA is beyond words. That even flying hundreds of hours during a deployment and feeling like each day was just a repeat of the next and how all the missions blurred together and there wasn't much of a memory of whether you did a mission the day or the week before- every detail of every Hero Mission had stuck and been clear as day.
Throughout the rest of the deployment, I had the honor of being on the crew for six other Hero Missions, each one unique and each one permanently etched in my mind. I can only imagine what goes through the mind of a family member after they have been notified of their service members death, but I would imagine that knowing they are handled with the utmost respect on their journey home would be one of them. If I could reach out to those soldier's families, I would tell them that although we never knew their soldier and we carried them a very short period on a flight, that in each one of ours hearts and minds we forever carry them.
My first Hero Mission was at the tail end of my progression. As we were landing at the hospital pad in Washington (downtown Baghdad) to pick up the KIA (killed in action) soldier, I wasn't sure what to expect. The FI, the other crew chief and I all got out of the helicopter and stood at attention waiting for them to bring the soldier out. Once the medical crew had verified it was okay to approach, they proceeded forward with the stretcher that had an American flag draped over it, which covered the black body bag that was underneath. As they proceeded closer, the rotor wash from the helicopter started blowing the flag around and the body bag became visible. The medical crew worked diligently to try to keep the flag in place.
As they approached the aircraft, the other crew members and I saluted as the stretcher was moved in front of us. We helped the medical personnel place the soldier in the aircraft and get him properly secured. My hands were shaking, I tried to steady them, but it wasn't working. As we made the flight from Washington to BIAP (Baghdad International Airport) for the soldier to be transitioned to be taken back to the States, the only sound you would hear was the sound of the helicopter blades.
When we took off from BIAP and were heading back to Taji for the end of our missions, little was said. Although normally, there is chatter going on between the crew to try to keep things a little lighter, this wasn't the time. Even though we had already provided the transport for the soldier, we each now carried a weight with us, as we knew that somewhere on the other side of the world there was a family that was being notified that their soldier had been killed.
After landing and shut down, we went through our typical post flight and closing out of the flight. I had been fighting back tears the whole time, there was an overflow of emotions I was feeling, but I was trying to 'appear' like things didn't affect me because I was still the only female door gunner in our brigade and working around all guys - that appearance of strength was a necessity.
Before I headed 'home' for the night, the FI stopped me and wanted to talk for a few minutes. He wanted to check on me after the Hero Mission. He then enlightened me to his thoughts - no matter how much any of these guys act like those kind of missions don't affect them, don't believe it for one minute. He told me that many of them held things in until they got back to their room at night or until they could find a quiet place and reflect on it alone. The bottom line - having the honor of transporting a soldier that has was KIA is beyond words. That even flying hundreds of hours during a deployment and feeling like each day was just a repeat of the next and how all the missions blurred together and there wasn't much of a memory of whether you did a mission the day or the week before- every detail of every Hero Mission had stuck and been clear as day.
Throughout the rest of the deployment, I had the honor of being on the crew for six other Hero Missions, each one unique and each one permanently etched in my mind. I can only imagine what goes through the mind of a family member after they have been notified of their service members death, but I would imagine that knowing they are handled with the utmost respect on their journey home would be one of them. If I could reach out to those soldier's families, I would tell them that although we never knew their soldier and we carried them a very short period on a flight, that in each one of ours hearts and minds we forever carry them.
Two crews from 25th Infantry Division salute the fallen soldiers they transported
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Cobras
Somehow while we were NTC, a 'group' was formed by a friend of mine. It was started out as more as a joke, but somehow in the mix of all the other stresses and other miscellaneous stuff going on, within in a few months into deployment it had become an 'in' thing.
The Cobras started out as a group of 15P's in our section and soon expanded beyond that. My friend went to the patch show on the FOB we were on and had little banners made for everyone in the group. Before too long, individuals you would consider senior ranking were also sporting the 'Cobras' banner. Although it was more of an elementary school thing, in the midst of most of our first deployment and adjusting to being where we were, it allowed a chance to laugh at something dumb from time to time.
The Cobras started out as a group of 15P's in our section and soon expanded beyond that. My friend went to the patch show on the FOB we were on and had little banners made for everyone in the group. Before too long, individuals you would consider senior ranking were also sporting the 'Cobras' banner. Although it was more of an elementary school thing, in the midst of most of our first deployment and adjusting to being where we were, it allowed a chance to laugh at something dumb from time to time.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Funny smells
There is songs that take you back places and then there are smells. The smells during my first deployment for the most part aren't ones that I smell very often. From time to time, there is one smell that has stuck with me that I do run across from time to time.
I shared a small room with another female soldier. Some nights she would get food from the DFAC and bring it back to our room, but other nights she had a favorite meal that always made our room smell. For whatever reason, Cup O'Noodle was her favorite meal on nights she didn't get food from the DFAC. She would sit on her bed with that and some hot sauce and dinner was served.
I kept in touch with my roommate for quite a while after deployment and from time to time I will hear from her, but when you spend 15 months living in the same small room, it's funny some of the things that bring up some of the most off the wall memories.
I shared a small room with another female soldier. Some nights she would get food from the DFAC and bring it back to our room, but other nights she had a favorite meal that always made our room smell. For whatever reason, Cup O'Noodle was her favorite meal on nights she didn't get food from the DFAC. She would sit on her bed with that and some hot sauce and dinner was served.
I kept in touch with my roommate for quite a while after deployment and from time to time I will hear from her, but when you spend 15 months living in the same small room, it's funny some of the things that bring up some of the most off the wall memories.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
A rare glimpse
Last night, a friend and fellow Army wife had sent me a text saying something had reminded her of a situation when we were both still back in Germany.
About two years ago, while my husband was in Afghanistan, I was receiving treatment for my back injury. The doctor decided to do some shots into my back, well one of them he managed to nick my spinal cord. This resulted in a very early morning trip to ER at Landstuhl, to do a blood patch since the nick hadn't 'healed' itself and my spinal fluid was draining into my back. Two ladies from my church went to the hospital with me, one being this Army wife friend of mine and the other was a pediatrician. My friend was driving my car and was used to driving a manual, so at one light she had stomped on the brakes thinking it was the clutch. This was the shared memory that had come back to both of us, but then she shared something with me that she hadn't before...
The doctor had gone back with me for the procedure, while my friend stayed in the waiting room.
Shortly after we had gone back, some buses pulled up in front of the ER. She hadn't thought much about it until she started seeing some of the service members walking in. The buses were the medical buses that pick up the soldiers that had been MEDEVAC'd back from downrange. So far, her experience as an Army wife hadn't involved a deployment and although she understood what wounded warrior and wounded in action (WIA) was, this was the first time she had seen it firsthand.
As she watched the stretchers come in and the medical personnel surround some of the patients, she saw some of the injuries and the numbers of soldiers that had come back just on this one flight. In her words to me last night, ' As they filed in around me in the waiting room, my heart stopped. I had never experienced anything like that feeling in my entire life... From that moment on, a soldier means many more things to me. I felt sick to my stomach, I couldn't breathe.' Apparently the look on her face said it all, because one of the injured soldiers leaned in and asked her if she was alright.
When she was telling me about this last night and how she can still remember it like it was yesterday and how it forever changed her life and what a few small words, Wounded Warrior or WIA, on a piece of paper truly mean. The sacrifice that's given besides just the understanding of times of separation and missed holidays and birthdays, how there is so much more given, often for a population that doesn't ever fully understand or see it firsthand. You see, even with being an Army wife, she had still been sheltered from much of this until that day.
Her husband recently returned from Afghanistan from his first deployment. Their unit lost several soldiers and she has noticed a significant change in him, as there is in many soldiers after they return home. Although, she will probably never understand what he had seen or been through while deployed, that day she received a glimpse into a world that even those associated with the military often don't see.
About two years ago, while my husband was in Afghanistan, I was receiving treatment for my back injury. The doctor decided to do some shots into my back, well one of them he managed to nick my spinal cord. This resulted in a very early morning trip to ER at Landstuhl, to do a blood patch since the nick hadn't 'healed' itself and my spinal fluid was draining into my back. Two ladies from my church went to the hospital with me, one being this Army wife friend of mine and the other was a pediatrician. My friend was driving my car and was used to driving a manual, so at one light she had stomped on the brakes thinking it was the clutch. This was the shared memory that had come back to both of us, but then she shared something with me that she hadn't before...
The doctor had gone back with me for the procedure, while my friend stayed in the waiting room.
Shortly after we had gone back, some buses pulled up in front of the ER. She hadn't thought much about it until she started seeing some of the service members walking in. The buses were the medical buses that pick up the soldiers that had been MEDEVAC'd back from downrange. So far, her experience as an Army wife hadn't involved a deployment and although she understood what wounded warrior and wounded in action (WIA) was, this was the first time she had seen it firsthand.
As she watched the stretchers come in and the medical personnel surround some of the patients, she saw some of the injuries and the numbers of soldiers that had come back just on this one flight. In her words to me last night, ' As they filed in around me in the waiting room, my heart stopped. I had never experienced anything like that feeling in my entire life... From that moment on, a soldier means many more things to me. I felt sick to my stomach, I couldn't breathe.' Apparently the look on her face said it all, because one of the injured soldiers leaned in and asked her if she was alright.
When she was telling me about this last night and how she can still remember it like it was yesterday and how it forever changed her life and what a few small words, Wounded Warrior or WIA, on a piece of paper truly mean. The sacrifice that's given besides just the understanding of times of separation and missed holidays and birthdays, how there is so much more given, often for a population that doesn't ever fully understand or see it firsthand. You see, even with being an Army wife, she had still been sheltered from much of this until that day.
Her husband recently returned from Afghanistan from his first deployment. Their unit lost several soldiers and she has noticed a significant change in him, as there is in many soldiers after they return home. Although, she will probably never understand what he had seen or been through while deployed, that day she received a glimpse into a world that even those associated with the military often don't see.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Two holidays
When I deployed the first time, it was scheduled to be a standard twelve month deployment. About two months in, things were shifted and they began moving some soldiers leave around to accomodate the possibility of a shift to eleven months instead of twelve months. Originally my leave had been scheduled for July, but because it was in that 'end of the tour' time frame, I was shifted forward to taking year in January.
At the time I wasn't the happiest about it, but I was still getting to go home so I made it work. Shortly after arriving back from leave, the surge had been the hot topic of the news and most of the soldiers who were deployed and those getting ready to deploy. At first when questions were asked, the information was that the units deployed weren't going to be affected by it.
A few weeks later, things changed and our new orders came down. We had been bumped up to a 15 month deployment.
The way our deployment fell, we had deployed in October, so originally we were supposed to have arrived back home in time for the holidays to start. With the additional three months, now we were going to be there for a second set of holidays and that also now meant that I had a full year between the time I had my 'midtour' and when we would redeploy.
As time was going on, of course, it wasn't the best place to be but we were all staying busy so the time was moving quickly for the most part. Even though at we hit month 12, we knew the holidays were coming up, it wasn't something you really wanted to be reminded about. Most DFACs (dining facilities) try to do something special for the holiday meals, so we tried to make the most of it. Somehow, the group of soldiers I went and ate with for both Thanksgiving and Christmas ended up targeted by the Public Affairs. As we sat there being asked what it was like going through our second set of holidays deployed, everything really started to sink in. That's one thing about being deployed, you can try to look past a day and try not to acknowledge what it is, but it never fails that something happens that snaps you back to reality.
At the time I wasn't the happiest about it, but I was still getting to go home so I made it work. Shortly after arriving back from leave, the surge had been the hot topic of the news and most of the soldiers who were deployed and those getting ready to deploy. At first when questions were asked, the information was that the units deployed weren't going to be affected by it.
A few weeks later, things changed and our new orders came down. We had been bumped up to a 15 month deployment.
The way our deployment fell, we had deployed in October, so originally we were supposed to have arrived back home in time for the holidays to start. With the additional three months, now we were going to be there for a second set of holidays and that also now meant that I had a full year between the time I had my 'midtour' and when we would redeploy.
As time was going on, of course, it wasn't the best place to be but we were all staying busy so the time was moving quickly for the most part. Even though at we hit month 12, we knew the holidays were coming up, it wasn't something you really wanted to be reminded about. Most DFACs (dining facilities) try to do something special for the holiday meals, so we tried to make the most of it. Somehow, the group of soldiers I went and ate with for both Thanksgiving and Christmas ended up targeted by the Public Affairs. As we sat there being asked what it was like going through our second set of holidays deployed, everything really started to sink in. That's one thing about being deployed, you can try to look past a day and try not to acknowledge what it is, but it never fails that something happens that snaps you back to reality.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
The little things that comfort
Most of my childhood, I grew up within a few miles of an Air Force base and we were right in the path for planes to fly over, often at a pretty low altitude. At first, being a young child all these planes were a source of interest and intrigue, but as I grew up and it became an everyday thing they also became a source of comfort. This carried over to my adult life. When I found my first place, I lived within a few miles of the airport where there were planes constantly flying over.
This became a challenge when I left for basic training. At Fort Jackson, there were NO planes or really any other kind of aviation elements that flew over. For the first time, I realized that those sounds had been a comfort to me all those years. Once I arrived at AIT, I was back at ease since I was at Fort Rucker and there were helicopters flying over all the time.
During my first deployment, I found myself living practically on the flight line. As I heard other people talk about the noise, I found comfort in it. I slept a little more restless on nights that I knew we had guys going out to do air assaults and on those nights, even though the aircraft that would launch for those were the farthest away from me, the next morning I could tell you exactly what time they took off for infill and came back and the same for the extraction.
When we returned from deployment, we lived quite a ways from post and I found myself with the same restlessness as before when there had been no aircraft. Since then we have always lived close enough to be able to hear aircraft and it has maintained a level of comfort for me.
This became a challenge when I left for basic training. At Fort Jackson, there were NO planes or really any other kind of aviation elements that flew over. For the first time, I realized that those sounds had been a comfort to me all those years. Once I arrived at AIT, I was back at ease since I was at Fort Rucker and there were helicopters flying over all the time.
During my first deployment, I found myself living practically on the flight line. As I heard other people talk about the noise, I found comfort in it. I slept a little more restless on nights that I knew we had guys going out to do air assaults and on those nights, even though the aircraft that would launch for those were the farthest away from me, the next morning I could tell you exactly what time they took off for infill and came back and the same for the extraction.
When we returned from deployment, we lived quite a ways from post and I found myself with the same restlessness as before when there had been no aircraft. Since then we have always lived close enough to be able to hear aircraft and it has maintained a level of comfort for me.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Who the internet sometimes connects you to
It's amazing at times the individuals you happen to meet. Shortly after a soldier I went to high school was killed in Iraq, I was online one day when an IM popped up and the individual asked if I had known Joe? I told him that I did and he explained that he had been stationed with him in Hawaii, had deployed with him and had escorted him for his final trip home.
Shortly after that was when I began talking to a recruiter about joining the military. This soldier and I kept in touch and he checked in from time to time, just to see how I was doing and letting me know what was going on with him. Over time, he shared stories of the Joe he had known during their service together.
As time went on, deployments for both us came and passed, we maintained contact. Although we had never met each other, we had gotten to know each other through a hit and miss communications. We talked about our families, whether we were able to be with them or were half a world away.
One night, while weathered in on a FOB in south Iraq, I signed online. A email popped up and the timing couldn't have been more spot on. We had our typical small talk, 'how are you?', 'what's been going on?' and through that we figured out that we had both found ourselves deployed again. I explained that we weathered in at a fuel stop and within a few minutes we figured out we were on the same FOB. In fact, he was in the next set of tents over from where we were staying.
That evening, I finally met this friend of a friend who I had talked to for the previous almost five years. It was weird being able to talk back and forth face-to-face. We found our conversation was short lived, as most of what we had in common was knowing Joe and being in the Army. We still catch up from time to time, but I think for both of us it helps to hold on to someone who knew someone we both once knew.
Shortly after that was when I began talking to a recruiter about joining the military. This soldier and I kept in touch and he checked in from time to time, just to see how I was doing and letting me know what was going on with him. Over time, he shared stories of the Joe he had known during their service together.
As time went on, deployments for both us came and passed, we maintained contact. Although we had never met each other, we had gotten to know each other through a hit and miss communications. We talked about our families, whether we were able to be with them or were half a world away.
One night, while weathered in on a FOB in south Iraq, I signed online. A email popped up and the timing couldn't have been more spot on. We had our typical small talk, 'how are you?', 'what's been going on?' and through that we figured out that we had both found ourselves deployed again. I explained that we weathered in at a fuel stop and within a few minutes we figured out we were on the same FOB. In fact, he was in the next set of tents over from where we were staying.
That evening, I finally met this friend of a friend who I had talked to for the previous almost five years. It was weird being able to talk back and forth face-to-face. We found our conversation was short lived, as most of what we had in common was knowing Joe and being in the Army. We still catch up from time to time, but I think for both of us it helps to hold on to someone who knew someone we both once knew.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
A long way from Kansas
I've been in a lot of different places where I would never have expected to run into someone that I knew from back home, Iraq was definitely at the top of that list.
When I first arrived in Iraq at the beginning of my first deployment, as we had unloaded off the Chinook, I heard someone yell 'hey, Mindy'. I was a little taken aback, since I was now used to being called by my last name. When I turned around, a friend of mine that I had gone to high school with was standing there.
During the beginning of my second deployment was when I ran into a friend that I had a little more long term history with. We had completed our first leg of the flight and we found ourselves weathered in at our first fuel stop in southern Iraq. Knowing that this was the same FOB a good friend of mine was on, I tried to touch base with someone from her unit. I finally tracked someone who knew her and I was informed she was out on a convoy and wouldn't be back until at least the next day.
The next morning, a weather call was made and we were stuck for another day. Although that meant another lost day for us, I was able to track down my friend and we were able to sit down and eat together and catch up on things.
We have come a long way since we were those two little girls standing on her grandpa's porch before the first day of first grade. But like we have for so many years, we have another shared experience that we have someone else to lean on if we need it.
When I first arrived in Iraq at the beginning of my first deployment, as we had unloaded off the Chinook, I heard someone yell 'hey, Mindy'. I was a little taken aback, since I was now used to being called by my last name. When I turned around, a friend of mine that I had gone to high school with was standing there.
During the beginning of my second deployment was when I ran into a friend that I had a little more long term history with. We had completed our first leg of the flight and we found ourselves weathered in at our first fuel stop in southern Iraq. Knowing that this was the same FOB a good friend of mine was on, I tried to touch base with someone from her unit. I finally tracked someone who knew her and I was informed she was out on a convoy and wouldn't be back until at least the next day.
The next morning, a weather call was made and we were stuck for another day. Although that meant another lost day for us, I was able to track down my friend and we were able to sit down and eat together and catch up on things.
We have come a long way since we were those two little girls standing on her grandpa's porch before the first day of first grade. But like we have for so many years, we have another shared experience that we have someone else to lean on if we need it.
Monday, April 16, 2012
A few moments of boredom
Hours are long during deployment and days off come very few and far between, but every once in a while you get enough downtime to get in a little trouble.
A couple of things came to mind right off the bat... Someone had received a water balloon launcher, so that became an opportunity to see how good their aim was. Standing from the top of the CP (Command Post), the soldier would take aim at someone walking or working out on the airfield. This was all good and fun until someone hit a high ranking individual in the chest with one of them. Luckily, he had a good sense of humor and understood what happens when crew chiefs get bored.
Rat traps was another source of entertainment. They had been sent in a care package and it seemed like there was a ton of them. One day when our flights had been cancelled due to weather, we dug them out. Coupled with some old bread the traps were sat along the walkway, but not in preparation for rats. A very feeble attempt at catching birds with the rat traps were made. Attention was quickly lost with that.
Another thing was a box of decorations that were sent for the Fourth of July. They quickly became the backdrops for an impromptu movie.
Although most hours of the day were taken with missions and maintenance, from time to time that little bit of downtime offered a chance to laugh at something dumb, even if it was short lived.
A couple of things came to mind right off the bat... Someone had received a water balloon launcher, so that became an opportunity to see how good their aim was. Standing from the top of the CP (Command Post), the soldier would take aim at someone walking or working out on the airfield. This was all good and fun until someone hit a high ranking individual in the chest with one of them. Luckily, he had a good sense of humor and understood what happens when crew chiefs get bored.
Rat traps was another source of entertainment. They had been sent in a care package and it seemed like there was a ton of them. One day when our flights had been cancelled due to weather, we dug them out. Coupled with some old bread the traps were sat along the walkway, but not in preparation for rats. A very feeble attempt at catching birds with the rat traps were made. Attention was quickly lost with that.
Another thing was a box of decorations that were sent for the Fourth of July. They quickly became the backdrops for an impromptu movie.
Although most hours of the day were taken with missions and maintenance, from time to time that little bit of downtime offered a chance to laugh at something dumb, even if it was short lived.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
A busted strut
I was finally only one flight away from finishing all the requirements to become RL (readiness level) 1 and be able to start crewing without a trainer. One of the other new crew members was in the same situation I was, so we were both being evaluated at the same time. We were supposed to be going on to the training area and finishing up some last minute details and final qualifications before we would be able to start flying on missions. We had no more than left the active when we all heard a loud pop. The other crew chief and I started looking around trying to figure out where it came from.
The pilots were anxiously asking us if we saw anything and the trainer was looking around as well. The other crew chief saw hydraulic fluid and immediately thought it was coming from the hydraulic deck, with the amount and the rotor wash it was hard to tell where it was coming from. So he told the pilots what he saw and the pilots turned around and called the tower to tell them what was going on so they could clear the active. Just as we were getting ready to land, the SI called for the pilots to 'climb'. The pilots didn't know what we going on, but they followed the SI's orders and gained altitude.
The SI began explaining that one of the landing gear struts was messed up and that's where the hydraulic fluid had come from. As we were flying passed the tower, the pilot asked the individual in the tower if the landing gear looked different and was told that one of them was hanging lower than the other. A call was made for maintenance to meet us on Alpha key and the pilots directed the bird there. We stayed at a hover for about ten minutes there while some senior mechanics assessed the situation. The landing gear strut had split in two and the lower section was now lodged into another part of the aircraft. Attempting to land on it like it was would most likely cause the aircraft to roll over.
The senior mechanics requested that the pilots move the aircraft to alpha row so they figure out a way for them to land safely. The SI immediately wanted all extra crew members off the aircraft so that way in the event the aircraft had a mishap there was as few people on board as possible. The pilots brought the aircraft down to hovering a few feet off the ground and the other crew chief, myself and another soldier who was going out to help with the training all unloaded.
It wasn't until about 45 minutes later that they were finally able to land the aircraft, but that side ended up being landed on a stack of extra wood and pretty much anything else lying around. In a few months time, there were three struts that due to being overserviced and building up too much pressure ended up exploding. Luckily, no one was hurt in any of the situations.
The pilots were anxiously asking us if we saw anything and the trainer was looking around as well. The other crew chief saw hydraulic fluid and immediately thought it was coming from the hydraulic deck, with the amount and the rotor wash it was hard to tell where it was coming from. So he told the pilots what he saw and the pilots turned around and called the tower to tell them what was going on so they could clear the active. Just as we were getting ready to land, the SI called for the pilots to 'climb'. The pilots didn't know what we going on, but they followed the SI's orders and gained altitude.
The SI began explaining that one of the landing gear struts was messed up and that's where the hydraulic fluid had come from. As we were flying passed the tower, the pilot asked the individual in the tower if the landing gear looked different and was told that one of them was hanging lower than the other. A call was made for maintenance to meet us on Alpha key and the pilots directed the bird there. We stayed at a hover for about ten minutes there while some senior mechanics assessed the situation. The landing gear strut had split in two and the lower section was now lodged into another part of the aircraft. Attempting to land on it like it was would most likely cause the aircraft to roll over.
It wasn't until about 45 minutes later that they were finally able to land the aircraft, but that side ended up being landed on a stack of extra wood and pretty much anything else lying around. In a few months time, there were three struts that due to being overserviced and building up too much pressure ended up exploding. Luckily, no one was hurt in any of the situations.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
One officer in particular
In the last couple of days, as a result to a couple of posts I have had and comments on those posts, it has reminded me of some random things I had forgotten about. This will probably take a couple of posts to avoid these being too long.
Let's start with a certain Lieutenant we had, who happened to be a West Pointer. He was a pilot that came to our unit after we had already been deployed for a couple of months. He was one of those individuals who didn't often think before he spoke, which is how he found himself in three circumstances that he didn't live down.
The first of those two was during a meeting the crew chief office (all enlisted personnel), he walked in and somehow got into a conversation with a couple of the crew chiefs. How the next part came up, I don't remember, but I don't think there was one person in that room that didn't remember what was said next. His reponse to whatever had been said was 'Well, quality people don't enlist in the Army' - the room went silent and everyone looked to see if they had heard what they thought they had. In a last ditch effort to try to save himself from the situation he rephrased 'I meant West Point quality people don't enlist in the Army...'. Needless to say, saying that in a room full of enlisted people isn't going to be the way to get them to respect you.
Shortly after this incident, this same officer was a pilot in chalk one of a flight that I was on chalk two of. It was just after dark and the moon was coming up over the horizon. That night it happened to appear larger than normal, which prompted a conversation between this officer and one of the crew chiefs. He asked the crew chief if he saw something out to the 3 o'clock (nose of the aircraft is 12, tail is 6). The crew chief responded that he didn't see anything out of the ordinary. So this went back and forth a couple of times before the officer finally described what he was seeing, a large white thing, but he couldn't identify what it was. The crew chief was a little confused because the only thing he saw that resembled what the officer had described was, in fact, the moon. As soon as the crew chief explained that it was the moon, the officer quickly tried to cover it up by saying 'oh, I knew that'.
This guy's third and final strike with the comfort level of the crew chiefs was during a flight where was one of the pilots in the aircraft I was in and we were flying chalk two. We were en route to Baghdad when chalk one had a bird bust through one of the chin bubbles (the 'window' by the pilots feet). Chalk one radioed back to let us know they would be slowing down since they now had wind coming through the chin bubble at a pretty high rate of speed. This officers response was total panic. Since we had flown to a location out a little further than normal, we were flying over an area of nothing much more than desert. The officers first instinct is to perform an emergency landing. Chalk one again assured him that they could make it to the next location. In the meantime, the crew chief and I was in the back giving each looks and thinking 'this guy can't be serious?!?'.
With all of this happening within a few weeks of each other, he didn't have much of a positive reputation when it came to competence, nor did he live any of it down the rest of the deployment.
Let's start with a certain Lieutenant we had, who happened to be a West Pointer. He was a pilot that came to our unit after we had already been deployed for a couple of months. He was one of those individuals who didn't often think before he spoke, which is how he found himself in three circumstances that he didn't live down.
The first of those two was during a meeting the crew chief office (all enlisted personnel), he walked in and somehow got into a conversation with a couple of the crew chiefs. How the next part came up, I don't remember, but I don't think there was one person in that room that didn't remember what was said next. His reponse to whatever had been said was 'Well, quality people don't enlist in the Army' - the room went silent and everyone looked to see if they had heard what they thought they had. In a last ditch effort to try to save himself from the situation he rephrased 'I meant West Point quality people don't enlist in the Army...'. Needless to say, saying that in a room full of enlisted people isn't going to be the way to get them to respect you.
Shortly after this incident, this same officer was a pilot in chalk one of a flight that I was on chalk two of. It was just after dark and the moon was coming up over the horizon. That night it happened to appear larger than normal, which prompted a conversation between this officer and one of the crew chiefs. He asked the crew chief if he saw something out to the 3 o'clock (nose of the aircraft is 12, tail is 6). The crew chief responded that he didn't see anything out of the ordinary. So this went back and forth a couple of times before the officer finally described what he was seeing, a large white thing, but he couldn't identify what it was. The crew chief was a little confused because the only thing he saw that resembled what the officer had described was, in fact, the moon. As soon as the crew chief explained that it was the moon, the officer quickly tried to cover it up by saying 'oh, I knew that'.
This guy's third and final strike with the comfort level of the crew chiefs was during a flight where was one of the pilots in the aircraft I was in and we were flying chalk two. We were en route to Baghdad when chalk one had a bird bust through one of the chin bubbles (the 'window' by the pilots feet). Chalk one radioed back to let us know they would be slowing down since they now had wind coming through the chin bubble at a pretty high rate of speed. This officers response was total panic. Since we had flown to a location out a little further than normal, we were flying over an area of nothing much more than desert. The officers first instinct is to perform an emergency landing. Chalk one again assured him that they could make it to the next location. In the meantime, the crew chief and I was in the back giving each looks and thinking 'this guy can't be serious?!?'.
With all of this happening within a few weeks of each other, he didn't have much of a positive reputation when it came to competence, nor did he live any of it down the rest of the deployment.
Friday, April 13, 2012
My Quilt of Valor
Two days ago, I had the pleasure of 'capturing' an event where the Quilts of Valor presented over 500 quilts to soldiers in 4-4 CAV at Fort Riley. Their unit experienced significant loss in way of both KIA soldiers and wounded. It was an amazing experience and watching each of the soldiers hold their quilt close, the memories of the day I received my quilt from the QOV came back.
I received mine about six months after I was medically retired out of the Army and was still struggling with no longer being a soldier. It also happened to be during our baby shower as we were preparing for our first child. In the recent months, I still hadn't wrapped my head around being out of the Army. I had loved it, I loved being a soldier, I loved flying and I greatly missed it. Since my husband was still active and we had been in the same unit, I still saw my soldiers generally at least once a week. They struggled with what to call me, was is SSG King or do they dare call me Mindy... I struggled with not correcting a soldier when I saw their hair being out of regulation or them doing something else they shouldn't be doing.
As we were leaving Germany, even though I had been out for a number of months now, the finalization of everything hit when we moved back. The last part of me being a soldier was being left behind. When we arrived home, I was happy to be there, but a part of me still longed for a place where I was still seen as SSG King. Then the day of the baby shower arrived.
I had seen pictures of quilters from the Quilts of Valor presenting quilts, but I never imagined I would be on the receiving end of one myself. As my mom was announcing to our family and friends what was going on, I was overwhelmed with emotions. My family has told me so many times how proud they were of my service, my friends had morally supported me through those years, and my soldiers had known I was always there for them - but here was a group that I didn't know besides mostly through pictures had pieced together an amazing quilt for me. Around the border, the words 'We are Grateful' are stitched and in an instant that longing for a former place left me and I knew that even in the big scheme of things and the huge Army - that I mattered and my service mattered to someone outside of those close to me. I've struggled to put this into words since the day I was presented my quilt, but the other day seeing those soldiers and looking back at the pictures - the words finally came.
Thank you to the quilters of the Quilts of Valor for helping me find that closure and letting me know that I mattered!
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I received mine about six months after I was medically retired out of the Army and was still struggling with no longer being a soldier. It also happened to be during our baby shower as we were preparing for our first child. In the recent months, I still hadn't wrapped my head around being out of the Army. I had loved it, I loved being a soldier, I loved flying and I greatly missed it. Since my husband was still active and we had been in the same unit, I still saw my soldiers generally at least once a week. They struggled with what to call me, was is SSG King or do they dare call me Mindy... I struggled with not correcting a soldier when I saw their hair being out of regulation or them doing something else they shouldn't be doing.
As we were leaving Germany, even though I had been out for a number of months now, the finalization of everything hit when we moved back. The last part of me being a soldier was being left behind. When we arrived home, I was happy to be there, but a part of me still longed for a place where I was still seen as SSG King. Then the day of the baby shower arrived.
I had seen pictures of quilters from the Quilts of Valor presenting quilts, but I never imagined I would be on the receiving end of one myself. As my mom was announcing to our family and friends what was going on, I was overwhelmed with emotions. My family has told me so many times how proud they were of my service, my friends had morally supported me through those years, and my soldiers had known I was always there for them - but here was a group that I didn't know besides mostly through pictures had pieced together an amazing quilt for me. Around the border, the words 'We are Grateful' are stitched and in an instant that longing for a former place left me and I knew that even in the big scheme of things and the huge Army - that I mattered and my service mattered to someone outside of those close to me. I've struggled to put this into words since the day I was presented my quilt, but the other day seeing those soldiers and looking back at the pictures - the words finally came.
Thank you to the quilters of the Quilts of Valor for helping me find that closure and letting me know that I mattered!
The day I received my quilt:
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I wanted to do some pictures of my son that was symbolic of both my husband and my service, in the first picture he is laying on my quilt with daddy in the background, playing with daddy's dog tags. The second picture he is laying on the quilt wrapped in one of my old BDU tops.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Prioritize
I finally had to prioritize and give something up. Yesterday I read a blog that talked about how we tend to get on all the social networking sites and see all the things other moms are doing and then in turn we feel inadequate. The inadequate feeling was there, but not necessarily from the social networking aspect.
I have been struggling since I got out of the military with my 'identity'. My husband and I were a dual military family and at the time we didn't have kids, so when we got home from work at night our conversations revolved around everything Army. I was proud of what I did for many different reasons - I was proud of serving my country, proud of the mission I was a part of (MEDEVAC), proud to stand amongst heroes everyday and proud of the accomplishments I had made during my service. When I got out all of that went away.
Now that my son is here, I have found myself happy with my role as a mommy. He is the light of my life and I'm loving every minute of it, but I still struggle with one thing. With daddy being a soldier, there is an instant pride - but I have felt most days like I'm not currently doing anything for him to be proud that I'm his mommy. After reading the blog post last night, it made me take a step back and think. I work full-time from home, so I'm home with him, but I spend a good part of the day sitting at the computer. I just started school again, I'm the co-leader for my husband's units Family Group; volunteer with the National Military Family Association, the American Legion and the VFW (Veterans of Foreign War); dabble in photography, I like to scrapbook and do other crafts from time to time and I'm getting ready to start training for a half marathon later this year that I'm doing to raise money for cancer research. Basically, I had stretched myself pretty thin.
Both my mom and my husband had both tried to tell me this a few weeks ago, but as is typical I didn't listen and I drove on. But last night, I had a 'light bulb' moment and I looked at everything. I know school is important and what I was going to school for I was compassionate about (I eventually want to be a counselor and work with soldiers with PTSD), but right now the classwork was something I couldn't focus on. So after a long discussion with my husband and some research on the school's policies, I decided that's what had to give and I dropped my courses.
What finally clicked last night was that my son would be proud of me for the things he could see me do, not for me sitting in front of a computer doing schoolwork versus spending time with him. I finished my masters degree right before he was born and later on when it doesn't feel like he is growing up so fast, I will go back and continue on with my school. In the meantime, I know my son would much rather spend time with me and that is what is important.
I have been struggling since I got out of the military with my 'identity'. My husband and I were a dual military family and at the time we didn't have kids, so when we got home from work at night our conversations revolved around everything Army. I was proud of what I did for many different reasons - I was proud of serving my country, proud of the mission I was a part of (MEDEVAC), proud to stand amongst heroes everyday and proud of the accomplishments I had made during my service. When I got out all of that went away.
Now that my son is here, I have found myself happy with my role as a mommy. He is the light of my life and I'm loving every minute of it, but I still struggle with one thing. With daddy being a soldier, there is an instant pride - but I have felt most days like I'm not currently doing anything for him to be proud that I'm his mommy. After reading the blog post last night, it made me take a step back and think. I work full-time from home, so I'm home with him, but I spend a good part of the day sitting at the computer. I just started school again, I'm the co-leader for my husband's units Family Group; volunteer with the National Military Family Association, the American Legion and the VFW (Veterans of Foreign War); dabble in photography, I like to scrapbook and do other crafts from time to time and I'm getting ready to start training for a half marathon later this year that I'm doing to raise money for cancer research. Basically, I had stretched myself pretty thin.
Both my mom and my husband had both tried to tell me this a few weeks ago, but as is typical I didn't listen and I drove on. But last night, I had a 'light bulb' moment and I looked at everything. I know school is important and what I was going to school for I was compassionate about (I eventually want to be a counselor and work with soldiers with PTSD), but right now the classwork was something I couldn't focus on. So after a long discussion with my husband and some research on the school's policies, I decided that's what had to give and I dropped my courses.
What finally clicked last night was that my son would be proud of me for the things he could see me do, not for me sitting in front of a computer doing schoolwork versus spending time with him. I finished my masters degree right before he was born and later on when it doesn't feel like he is growing up so fast, I will go back and continue on with my school. In the meantime, I know my son would much rather spend time with me and that is what is important.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
My first soldier love...
When I first joined the Army, I wanted to fly and I wanted it to be on Blackhawks. When I enlisted, there was only one aviation related job that was open and it was an admin job, so I figured it was at least a step in the right direction. When I arrived at my first unit, it was an air assault Blackhawk battalion. Over the course of the next eight months in gearing up for deployment, I watched them take off and land, tracked them while they were out flying and had a few chance opportunities to go out on training flights. I was in love!
About two months into our deployment, my re-enlistment window opened but an option to reclass to 15T (Blackhawk mechanic) wasn't. So I waited... A few weeks later, the retention sergeant contacted me and said that only a few slots were opened for reclass and I jumped at the opportunity. On Christmas Eve 2006, I raised my right hand again and became Army property for six more years, with a reclass to 15T. Since we were only three months now into a 15 month deployment, so it would be over a year before I would start my reclass, at least that's what I thought.
Within two weeks after my re-enlistment, I headed home for midtour. When I returned our Battalion Standardization Instructor (SI) let me know that I would be starting academics within a few weeks. For ten straight days, I started learning the ins and outs of how the Blackhawk worked and everything that came with flying as a crew chief. During those ten days, the SI was about ready to go crazy with all the questions I was asking. I had to know how everything worked and why it worked that way, etc, etc... Given that the other five people in the training were all already 15T and had been for at least a couple of years, most of the information came easy to them - I had to work very hard to understand everything.
After we completed our classroom training and completed the initial tests and evaluations, it was time to start the flying part of our progression. I continued on with question upon question and I think there was some days that the SI was wondering what he had gotten himself into. He picked on me about it from time to time, but he was patient and took everything in stride. Those first flights consisted of circling around in the training area, but I was right where I wanted to be.
Waiting while the other trainee completed his slingload training to start my portion of it. The SI is in this picture too...
About two months into our deployment, my re-enlistment window opened but an option to reclass to 15T (Blackhawk mechanic) wasn't. So I waited... A few weeks later, the retention sergeant contacted me and said that only a few slots were opened for reclass and I jumped at the opportunity. On Christmas Eve 2006, I raised my right hand again and became Army property for six more years, with a reclass to 15T. Since we were only three months now into a 15 month deployment, so it would be over a year before I would start my reclass, at least that's what I thought.
Within two weeks after my re-enlistment, I headed home for midtour. When I returned our Battalion Standardization Instructor (SI) let me know that I would be starting academics within a few weeks. For ten straight days, I started learning the ins and outs of how the Blackhawk worked and everything that came with flying as a crew chief. During those ten days, the SI was about ready to go crazy with all the questions I was asking. I had to know how everything worked and why it worked that way, etc, etc... Given that the other five people in the training were all already 15T and had been for at least a couple of years, most of the information came easy to them - I had to work very hard to understand everything.
After we completed our classroom training and completed the initial tests and evaluations, it was time to start the flying part of our progression. I continued on with question upon question and I think there was some days that the SI was wondering what he had gotten himself into. He picked on me about it from time to time, but he was patient and took everything in stride. Those first flights consisted of circling around in the training area, but I was right where I wanted to be.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
A New Path
School is one of those things that I figured by the time I reached 30 I would be done with, but here I am a few months after hitting that milestone and yesterday school started again. I debated long and hard before I decided to go back to school again, but ultimately it is the only way for me to do what I want to in the future.
As opposed to previous times I have been in school, I have a new challenge this time and that is working my school schedule where it is taking as little time away from my son as possible.
A few years back when I started with my last school, it was more for long term future purposes as I had planned on being in the Army for a career. Just a month after I started, that plan was quickly shattered. My back and migranes had been getting progressively worse and my commander has sent me to the doctor. In a short visit with the doctor and him reviewing my medical records and I walked out of the office with a Permenent level 3 (P3) profile, which automatically flags you for the start of a medical evaluation board (MEB). Based on what the doctor told me that day, it was more likely than not that I would be out of the Army by the same time the following year. I was crushed, angry, frustrated, etc, etc.
Within a little over a month, my intial processing for my MEB had started as well as my soldiers and husband had returned from Afghanistan. I watched as many of my soldiers struggled with some of the things they had seen or been a part of, but they didn't really feel comfortable talking with many of the individuals at the mental health clinic available. After many conversations, I learned of some of the issues they were having - the angry, the nightmares, all the standard traits of post traumatic experiences. I suddenly felt a rush of guilt since I had been evaced back I was seen by a psychologist at Landstuhl instead of locally and she was prior service, had deployed and had been medically retired. The soldiers didn't feel like there was anyone available locally who could relate to what they had been there, so they bottled it up. I did the best I could by opening up about the issues I had and was continuing to have and over a little bit of time, many of them started talking as least a little bit. That didn't keep many of them from still spiraling down.
By the time I really started seeing this aftermath, it had been determined that I was going to be seperated from the Army for medically reasons. My thoughts shifted to changing my path from career soldier to finding another way I could help soldiers and becoming a counselor became my new path. The biggest challenge my soldiers and even my husband had was making an appointment with someone they felt like were going to judge them for the way they view things or how they felt about certain topics.
Although, I know this course work is going to be a little more extensive than past school work, in the end I know it will all be worth it. I have been where they have been, I wear that PTSD diagnosis and the misconceptions that come with it, I have walked the ground in a combat zone and even though I can no longer where the uniform - I can still continue serving.
As opposed to previous times I have been in school, I have a new challenge this time and that is working my school schedule where it is taking as little time away from my son as possible.
A few years back when I started with my last school, it was more for long term future purposes as I had planned on being in the Army for a career. Just a month after I started, that plan was quickly shattered. My back and migranes had been getting progressively worse and my commander has sent me to the doctor. In a short visit with the doctor and him reviewing my medical records and I walked out of the office with a Permenent level 3 (P3) profile, which automatically flags you for the start of a medical evaluation board (MEB). Based on what the doctor told me that day, it was more likely than not that I would be out of the Army by the same time the following year. I was crushed, angry, frustrated, etc, etc.
Within a little over a month, my intial processing for my MEB had started as well as my soldiers and husband had returned from Afghanistan. I watched as many of my soldiers struggled with some of the things they had seen or been a part of, but they didn't really feel comfortable talking with many of the individuals at the mental health clinic available. After many conversations, I learned of some of the issues they were having - the angry, the nightmares, all the standard traits of post traumatic experiences. I suddenly felt a rush of guilt since I had been evaced back I was seen by a psychologist at Landstuhl instead of locally and she was prior service, had deployed and had been medically retired. The soldiers didn't feel like there was anyone available locally who could relate to what they had been there, so they bottled it up. I did the best I could by opening up about the issues I had and was continuing to have and over a little bit of time, many of them started talking as least a little bit. That didn't keep many of them from still spiraling down.
By the time I really started seeing this aftermath, it had been determined that I was going to be seperated from the Army for medically reasons. My thoughts shifted to changing my path from career soldier to finding another way I could help soldiers and becoming a counselor became my new path. The biggest challenge my soldiers and even my husband had was making an appointment with someone they felt like were going to judge them for the way they view things or how they felt about certain topics.
Although, I know this course work is going to be a little more extensive than past school work, in the end I know it will all be worth it. I have been where they have been, I wear that PTSD diagnosis and the misconceptions that come with it, I have walked the ground in a combat zone and even though I can no longer where the uniform - I can still continue serving.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Our Easter
Yesterday was so much fun! I've always enjoyed Easter for both the religious based and fictional based aspect of it. This year was a little different because I was able to see it through the eyes of my son. From his watching of Veggie Tales 'Twas the night before Easter' to actually getting into his Easter basket or his attempt at helping color eggs.
He will be seven months old later this week and Christmas time, with the gifts and all weren't the most exciting for him. In fact, he slept through most of our family's gift exchange and besides the lights that twinkled on the tree, he really wasn't interested. So this was the first time for 'gifts' that he really participated in. He was even able to get the Easter eggs opened and found two new camo print binkies inside.
Later in the day, since he isn't quite running around yet - we took him outside for some pictures and to play with some bubbles. His level of fascination with everything is so amazing to watch and it's almost like learning everything all over again. He also watched intently as we colored eggs and even made an attempt at coloring one himself (with help of course).
We didn't go anywhere and no one came here for Easter, it was just our little family enjoying an easy going day of family time. I love days like this, because often it seems like we are running too many places and trying to do too much stuff and we end up not getting that quality time together.
He will be seven months old later this week and Christmas time, with the gifts and all weren't the most exciting for him. In fact, he slept through most of our family's gift exchange and besides the lights that twinkled on the tree, he really wasn't interested. So this was the first time for 'gifts' that he really participated in. He was even able to get the Easter eggs opened and found two new camo print binkies inside.
Later in the day, since he isn't quite running around yet - we took him outside for some pictures and to play with some bubbles. His level of fascination with everything is so amazing to watch and it's almost like learning everything all over again. He also watched intently as we colored eggs and even made an attempt at coloring one himself (with help of course).
We didn't go anywhere and no one came here for Easter, it was just our little family enjoying an easy going day of family time. I love days like this, because often it seems like we are running too many places and trying to do too much stuff and we end up not getting that quality time together.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Rear Detachment
The Rear Detachment (Rear D) is the soldiers that stay behind when a unit deploys. During my first deployment, my understanding of the rear detachment was limited to being little more than soldiers who had managed to find a reason not to deploy. As time went on and our deployment was extended from 12 to 15 months, my patience for some of the griping that I was hearing about from some of the individuals on the rear d greatly diminished. So by the time we redeployed, as we were standing there waiting to be released for block leave, I was a little irritated when they took the time to recognize the rear d.
It wasn't until my second deployment that I finally got a view from the other side of the fence. Four months into my second deployment, my unit received new orders and would be shifting from Iraq to Afghanistan. Due to an injury from my first deployment and encouragement from the chain of command, instead of boarding a plane to Afghanistan, I found myself en route to Landstuhl, Germany.
After spending ten days at the hospital, I was shifted back to my unit in Katterbach, Germany for continuous care. At that point, my 'other side of the fence' view started. I had already been designated as the FRL (Family Readiness Liaison) which is basically being a direct connection between the command forward and the families in the rear. Shortly after that, I found myself in the role of the Rear D 1SG (First Sergeant). At that point in time, our rear d consisted of seven soldiers, including the rear d commander.
Over the next eight months, we had nine more soldiers added to the ranks as two were medevaced back, three had either injured themselves or became extremely sick while on midtour, one was sent back for being pregnant, one for telling the chaplain she was a lesbian (this was prior to removal of the don't ask, don't tell), one for issues with a family care plan and one because his separation fell during the time of deployment (stop loss had been removed). Three of those were chaptered out of the military prior to the unit returning. Although, the soldiers within the ranks were not near as busy as the soldiers forward were and they still had their weekends and days off the majority of the time, I did not.
As with any organization, the more you move up in the ranks, generally the more pay you receive, but also the less time off. With this situation, since it's more of a job description than a promotion, my pay stayed the same, but more hours significantly increased. We managed to turn in over $1 million in excess materials that had been sitting in connexs since two deployments prior, we cleaned and reorganized offices, scrubbed over 45 barracks room top to bottom, we worked with other spouses to decorate for the soldiers return and planned the redeployment ceremonies and reintegration. Additionally, I was able to get three families out on emergency leave (overseas the unit often authorizes to pay for family members to return home on emergency leave, although it is a case-by-case basis) and found myself sitting in many briefings and meetings on behalf of the rear d CSM (Command Sergeant Major). Although most of the spouses were really helpful and understood that I was also a spouse with my husband deployed, I did have one that provided more challenges than the rest did combined - from getting in altercations with people in her housing unit on post to walking into one of the bank's on post and slapping one of the workers.
When the soldiers returned, the job wasn't over. Although I knew we weren't going to be able to take leave immediately after my husband returned, we were promised a few four day weekends. There wasn't one that didn't have some kind of interruption - from a soldier being arrested for domestic violence to an IG complaint coming down the pipe. I know more days than my husband was irritated because as with all soldiers they want to spend time with their significant other when they redeploy, but that didn't keep my phone from ringing every time we sat down to eat or keep me from getting called in at all hours of the night.
Although, I understood that most soldiers that were on rear d did spend most of their time doing stuff other than work and I saw many of them who had been too 'hurt' to deploy and then would be called in to pick them up because they had been out partying, but for the rear d leadership - my eyes were opened and I definitely have a lot of respect for those that are put in that position. I learned more about everything general Army related in that eight month time frame than I did the rest of the time I was in the military.
It wasn't until my second deployment that I finally got a view from the other side of the fence. Four months into my second deployment, my unit received new orders and would be shifting from Iraq to Afghanistan. Due to an injury from my first deployment and encouragement from the chain of command, instead of boarding a plane to Afghanistan, I found myself en route to Landstuhl, Germany.
After spending ten days at the hospital, I was shifted back to my unit in Katterbach, Germany for continuous care. At that point, my 'other side of the fence' view started. I had already been designated as the FRL (Family Readiness Liaison) which is basically being a direct connection between the command forward and the families in the rear. Shortly after that, I found myself in the role of the Rear D 1SG (First Sergeant). At that point in time, our rear d consisted of seven soldiers, including the rear d commander.
Over the next eight months, we had nine more soldiers added to the ranks as two were medevaced back, three had either injured themselves or became extremely sick while on midtour, one was sent back for being pregnant, one for telling the chaplain she was a lesbian (this was prior to removal of the don't ask, don't tell), one for issues with a family care plan and one because his separation fell during the time of deployment (stop loss had been removed). Three of those were chaptered out of the military prior to the unit returning. Although, the soldiers within the ranks were not near as busy as the soldiers forward were and they still had their weekends and days off the majority of the time, I did not.
As with any organization, the more you move up in the ranks, generally the more pay you receive, but also the less time off. With this situation, since it's more of a job description than a promotion, my pay stayed the same, but more hours significantly increased. We managed to turn in over $1 million in excess materials that had been sitting in connexs since two deployments prior, we cleaned and reorganized offices, scrubbed over 45 barracks room top to bottom, we worked with other spouses to decorate for the soldiers return and planned the redeployment ceremonies and reintegration. Additionally, I was able to get three families out on emergency leave (overseas the unit often authorizes to pay for family members to return home on emergency leave, although it is a case-by-case basis) and found myself sitting in many briefings and meetings on behalf of the rear d CSM (Command Sergeant Major). Although most of the spouses were really helpful and understood that I was also a spouse with my husband deployed, I did have one that provided more challenges than the rest did combined - from getting in altercations with people in her housing unit on post to walking into one of the bank's on post and slapping one of the workers.
When the soldiers returned, the job wasn't over. Although I knew we weren't going to be able to take leave immediately after my husband returned, we were promised a few four day weekends. There wasn't one that didn't have some kind of interruption - from a soldier being arrested for domestic violence to an IG complaint coming down the pipe. I know more days than my husband was irritated because as with all soldiers they want to spend time with their significant other when they redeploy, but that didn't keep my phone from ringing every time we sat down to eat or keep me from getting called in at all hours of the night.
Although, I understood that most soldiers that were on rear d did spend most of their time doing stuff other than work and I saw many of them who had been too 'hurt' to deploy and then would be called in to pick them up because they had been out partying, but for the rear d leadership - my eyes were opened and I definitely have a lot of respect for those that are put in that position. I learned more about everything general Army related in that eight month time frame than I did the rest of the time I was in the military.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Act of Valor
Last weekend my husband and I had our first official date night since our almost 7 month old was born. Even though Act of Valor has been out for over a month now, this was the first chance we had to see it since my hubby had been TDY (temporary duty). I had seen the previews for it, but it had been when it initially came out, so my memory wasn't the best on the specifics of it.
Throughout the movie, my husband and I would exchange glances related to what was taking place on the screen. It was a really good movie. I walked away from the movie with two things. The first was that I missed flying like crazy, especially seeing the seals sitting in the cargo area flying with doors open.
The second is the missions that it brought to light. For Seals and the other different branches of Special Forces and Special Operations, there aren't public deployments and redeployments, they could be gone for a short period of time or for a longer period and communications with their family members is very limited, if there is any at all. It pointed out the missions that these service members are constantly on that is out of site and for most people also out of mind.
Although we all know that movies are never identical to books they are written after or real life events, it is important that some things are brought to the general population's attention in some way or another. I know this was a good reminder for me of what is going on outside my little world and to remember those who proudly stand in these ranks, who often times receive no acknowledgement of the missions they are involved in. And for the families who love these soldiers, who live a different life than other military spouses.
Throughout the movie, my husband and I would exchange glances related to what was taking place on the screen. It was a really good movie. I walked away from the movie with two things. The first was that I missed flying like crazy, especially seeing the seals sitting in the cargo area flying with doors open.
The second is the missions that it brought to light. For Seals and the other different branches of Special Forces and Special Operations, there aren't public deployments and redeployments, they could be gone for a short period of time or for a longer period and communications with their family members is very limited, if there is any at all. It pointed out the missions that these service members are constantly on that is out of site and for most people also out of mind.
Although we all know that movies are never identical to books they are written after or real life events, it is important that some things are brought to the general population's attention in some way or another. I know this was a good reminder for me of what is going on outside my little world and to remember those who proudly stand in these ranks, who often times receive no acknowledgement of the missions they are involved in. And for the families who love these soldiers, who live a different life than other military spouses.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Those first few days
Reintegration is more than just the Army mandated period before a soldier goes on post deployment leave. It is also a reintegration period for the soldier and their family. Whether a soldier has been gone a month or year, things change while they are gone.
Even having gone through redeployment myself, I still found myself struggling on some days right after my husband redeployed from Afghanistan. While he had been gone my daily routine had changed, I wasn't as concerned about having 'dinner on the table' and often times dinner consisted of popcorn or something else that could easily be thrown in the microwave. My evenings consisted of homework, reading or watching a new favorite show. My weekends were taken up with trips to IKEA or the big PX in Grafenwohr or spending time on whatever I wanted to do.
When my husband came back, for the first couple of days everything was great - we were back in that honeymoon period that always comes after a deployment or separation. Then reality set in. Everything my husband had pushed to the back of his mind during the deployment was starting to come to the surface as he now had the downtime to start really thinking. For me, I was so happy to have him home, but I felt like someone was invading my space. It seemed like every little thing we did was frustrating from watching a TV show to deciding what we were going to have for dinner. We were in a struggle and didn't even know it. I was in a struggle to let someone back into a space that had become my 'domain' for the last almost year and he was in a struggle because he was trying to adapt to not being deployed and also not knowing where he belonged.
It's easy when a spouse first comes home to want to be right next to them all the time or to be the complete opposite and feel smothered by that person. Trust me, each person in the relationship is struggling with the same thing, often times it is just hard to vocalize those feelings without feelings like you aren't pushing the other person away. We both had to take a step back and look at each other's side. Once we were able to do that, each day was a little bit easier and it became easier to voice the feelings we were each having and start working towards feeling comfortable together.
Even having gone through redeployment myself, I still found myself struggling on some days right after my husband redeployed from Afghanistan. While he had been gone my daily routine had changed, I wasn't as concerned about having 'dinner on the table' and often times dinner consisted of popcorn or something else that could easily be thrown in the microwave. My evenings consisted of homework, reading or watching a new favorite show. My weekends were taken up with trips to IKEA or the big PX in Grafenwohr or spending time on whatever I wanted to do.
When my husband came back, for the first couple of days everything was great - we were back in that honeymoon period that always comes after a deployment or separation. Then reality set in. Everything my husband had pushed to the back of his mind during the deployment was starting to come to the surface as he now had the downtime to start really thinking. For me, I was so happy to have him home, but I felt like someone was invading my space. It seemed like every little thing we did was frustrating from watching a TV show to deciding what we were going to have for dinner. We were in a struggle and didn't even know it. I was in a struggle to let someone back into a space that had become my 'domain' for the last almost year and he was in a struggle because he was trying to adapt to not being deployed and also not knowing where he belonged.
It's easy when a spouse first comes home to want to be right next to them all the time or to be the complete opposite and feel smothered by that person. Trust me, each person in the relationship is struggling with the same thing, often times it is just hard to vocalize those feelings without feelings like you aren't pushing the other person away. We both had to take a step back and look at each other's side. Once we were able to do that, each day was a little bit easier and it became easier to voice the feelings we were each having and start working towards feeling comfortable together.
Uniforms
A few days ago my husband arrived back from being TDY. I was up at the hangar to pick him up and I was talking to one of the other soldier he works while I was waiting for him. He made me laugh a little when he told me he had given his wife 'an Army wife test'... so I had to ask. Apparently, his idea of this test was to give his wife his ACU top and all of his patches and she had to put them on in the right place. I thought it was funny until I started really thinking about the night before...
While my husband was gone, I found out that there were two unit awards that had been approved from the timeframe during our most recent deployment. After receiving the copies of the orders, I ordered the new ribbons he would need and the night before he came home I put the updated ribbons together. I guess I don't think much of this, becuase it was something I was used to not only doing, but I spent many hours inspecting and fixing issues on the uniforms of my soldiers.
With that being said, it wasn't something I had ever thought of until that soldier said something about it being a test. I have noticed though, whether they wore a uniform at some point in time or not, military spouses that have been around the military for quite awhile pick up the ins and outs of little things that they were never 'trained' to do.
While my husband was gone, I found out that there were two unit awards that had been approved from the timeframe during our most recent deployment. After receiving the copies of the orders, I ordered the new ribbons he would need and the night before he came home I put the updated ribbons together. I guess I don't think much of this, becuase it was something I was used to not only doing, but I spent many hours inspecting and fixing issues on the uniforms of my soldiers.
With that being said, it wasn't something I had ever thought of until that soldier said something about it being a test. I have noticed though, whether they wore a uniform at some point in time or not, military spouses that have been around the military for quite awhile pick up the ins and outs of little things that they were never 'trained' to do.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Barracks
Throughout my time around the military, most of it has been living offpost. During my earlier years though, it was all onpost as a single soldier living in the barracks.
My first living quarters was basic training- the walls were lemon yellow and for whatever reason there was a random half wall on two sides of the room. Although it is still vivid in my memory, I didn't spend much time there and when I was there it was to quickly get dressed or crashed out sleeping. The little bits of time that I was awake was generally to read or write letters home and many times it was having a quick conversation with one of the other females.
From there I moved into the barracks at Fort Rucker for AIT. Those were the nicest barracks I have ever seen. Compared to the barracks at Fort Jackson, everything looked remotely new. Then again, the 'niceness' of them may have been nothing more than the fact that we were starting to get some of our freedom back. Even though there were four of us per room, I never had an issues with my roommates. Even in the mornings between PT and training starting, we worked like a well-oiled machine with all of us taking showers and getting ready.
Then came by last stop in actual barracks and that was Fort Hood... I no longer had drill sergeants coming to check my room and we weren't stacked on top of each other, but I think my most interesting times were during my stay in those barracks. My first roommate was a friend who had been in AIT with me, but that was shortlived as she was married and her husband was coming down in the next few weeks for them to find a place to live offpost.
My next roommate was a challenge, within a week of reporting to the post from her AIT they found out she was pregnant. Since she was taking that 'opportunity' to chapter out of the Army, most of her leadership wasn't too concerned with her doing PT. She would come down to formation then be released to go back to her room. By the time I would get done with PT and head back to my room, she was passed out again and often times had bed partners. These bed partners weren't other people, but food. Most mornings she would have an open package of hot dogs and some mustard or ketchup in the bed with her - other days it was other random types of food. For days on end, she would fall back asleep after PT and wake up in enough time to throw her uniform on and head in for work call. Yes, that is correct - no shower... so it wasn't long before our room started smelling of hot dogs and body odor. I put up with it for awhile before I said something and she acted like it was no big deal. So one day when one of my supervisors came to inspect my part of the room, he noticed the smell and reported it to her chain of command. It wasn't an issue for much longer though, because her chapter paperwork went through and she was separated from the Army.
My last roommate was only my roommate for about a week before I moved offpost. I didn't get to know her very well since I was only really there to move my stuff out, but as is typical with the Army - I ran into her in Germany when she was assigned to the same unit as I was. Funny thing - she had married a soldier from another battalion within about two weeks after we arrived back from our first deployment and I married a soldier within our battalion about six weeks after we arrived back. Both of us and our husbands all ended up being in the same unit.
Although, barracks living isn't the ideal place to live, I did have a lot of fun when I lived in the barracks. There was the opportunity to get to know the people you worked with much better. One of the girls I was roommates with in AIT became a very good friend. And while we were preparing for deployment, being in a place like that with the people you are deploying with really gave me a chance to see some of their true colors before having to deal with it when we were deployed. As with anything in the Army, I think it's all what you make of it.
My first living quarters was basic training- the walls were lemon yellow and for whatever reason there was a random half wall on two sides of the room. Although it is still vivid in my memory, I didn't spend much time there and when I was there it was to quickly get dressed or crashed out sleeping. The little bits of time that I was awake was generally to read or write letters home and many times it was having a quick conversation with one of the other females.
From there I moved into the barracks at Fort Rucker for AIT. Those were the nicest barracks I have ever seen. Compared to the barracks at Fort Jackson, everything looked remotely new. Then again, the 'niceness' of them may have been nothing more than the fact that we were starting to get some of our freedom back. Even though there were four of us per room, I never had an issues with my roommates. Even in the mornings between PT and training starting, we worked like a well-oiled machine with all of us taking showers and getting ready.
Then came by last stop in actual barracks and that was Fort Hood... I no longer had drill sergeants coming to check my room and we weren't stacked on top of each other, but I think my most interesting times were during my stay in those barracks. My first roommate was a friend who had been in AIT with me, but that was shortlived as she was married and her husband was coming down in the next few weeks for them to find a place to live offpost.
My next roommate was a challenge, within a week of reporting to the post from her AIT they found out she was pregnant. Since she was taking that 'opportunity' to chapter out of the Army, most of her leadership wasn't too concerned with her doing PT. She would come down to formation then be released to go back to her room. By the time I would get done with PT and head back to my room, she was passed out again and often times had bed partners. These bed partners weren't other people, but food. Most mornings she would have an open package of hot dogs and some mustard or ketchup in the bed with her - other days it was other random types of food. For days on end, she would fall back asleep after PT and wake up in enough time to throw her uniform on and head in for work call. Yes, that is correct - no shower... so it wasn't long before our room started smelling of hot dogs and body odor. I put up with it for awhile before I said something and she acted like it was no big deal. So one day when one of my supervisors came to inspect my part of the room, he noticed the smell and reported it to her chain of command. It wasn't an issue for much longer though, because her chapter paperwork went through and she was separated from the Army.
My last roommate was only my roommate for about a week before I moved offpost. I didn't get to know her very well since I was only really there to move my stuff out, but as is typical with the Army - I ran into her in Germany when she was assigned to the same unit as I was. Funny thing - she had married a soldier from another battalion within about two weeks after we arrived back from our first deployment and I married a soldier within our battalion about six weeks after we arrived back. Both of us and our husbands all ended up being in the same unit.
Although, barracks living isn't the ideal place to live, I did have a lot of fun when I lived in the barracks. There was the opportunity to get to know the people you worked with much better. One of the girls I was roommates with in AIT became a very good friend. And while we were preparing for deployment, being in a place like that with the people you are deploying with really gave me a chance to see some of their true colors before having to deal with it when we were deployed. As with anything in the Army, I think it's all what you make of it.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
German Gold Cross
Two years ago, while my husband and the rest of my soldiers were still in Afghanistan, one of the missions they completed became international news. German soldiers on the guard found themselves in the middle on an ambush. They had sustained injuries and the MEDEVAC was called in. Although there was still an active fire fight taking place, our MED crews did multiple turns in and picked up wounded German soldiers. These soldiers, doing their job, saved the lives of some of those soldiers that day. The German government did something that had never been done before to recognize these soldiers - 14 soldiers, 8 from Charlie Company 5/158 and the other 6 from Alpha Company 5/158 were presented with the German Gold Cross. The German Gold Cross is one of the highest awards that German soldiers can receive, so it was a significant honor.
I was extremely impressed with the recognition they had given our soldiers, especially since the Army hadn't really acknowledged it because, after all, they are MEDEVAC and that is their job. Germany decided that wasn't enough though, because they knew there was another piece to the puzzle - the families who awaited the return of their soldiers. In a ceremony like none I have ever seen to recognize spouses, the German government presented each family of the MED crew members with a token of their appreciation of their service. The German Chancellor stood there almost in tears as he expressed his countries appreciation for the sacrifice that he acknowledged that these families make every day. He went further to mention the fact that he understood that soldiers could not do what they do without those who support them from afar.
To try to put into words the pride each of those families had would be impossible, but then again - although this was a significant event, it was no different than the pride you could see in these families faces any other day of the year. The fact that a foreign government thought enough of our families to put on such an event, especially without the soldiers being present, is a testament to the strength, endurance and pride that military families have. I hope someday in the near future that something like that event would take place on American soil to acknowledge those in the silent ranks.
I'm proud to say I served along side these and so many other soldiers, but I have just as much pride in having served beside their silent ranks!
Information on the soldiers receiving the German Gold Cross:
http://www.eucom.mil/article/19850/american-heroes-receive-german-gold-cross
The soldiers:
I was extremely impressed with the recognition they had given our soldiers, especially since the Army hadn't really acknowledged it because, after all, they are MEDEVAC and that is their job. Germany decided that wasn't enough though, because they knew there was another piece to the puzzle - the families who awaited the return of their soldiers. In a ceremony like none I have ever seen to recognize spouses, the German government presented each family of the MED crew members with a token of their appreciation of their service. The German Chancellor stood there almost in tears as he expressed his countries appreciation for the sacrifice that he acknowledged that these families make every day. He went further to mention the fact that he understood that soldiers could not do what they do without those who support them from afar.
To try to put into words the pride each of those families had would be impossible, but then again - although this was a significant event, it was no different than the pride you could see in these families faces any other day of the year. The fact that a foreign government thought enough of our families to put on such an event, especially without the soldiers being present, is a testament to the strength, endurance and pride that military families have. I hope someday in the near future that something like that event would take place on American soil to acknowledge those in the silent ranks.
I'm proud to say I served along side these and so many other soldiers, but I have just as much pride in having served beside their silent ranks!
Information on the soldiers receiving the German Gold Cross:
http://www.eucom.mil/article/19850/american-heroes-receive-german-gold-cross
The soldiers:
The families:
Monday, April 2, 2012
Some days things almost seem surreal! Being a military wife there are always challenges and I know that we have some unique challenges, but I look at our life and really don't know how much more blessed we could be. We deal with the same separations that every military families deal with, but there have been people that have been brought into our lives that have helped us take things one step at a time.
The last year has really seemed to be overwhelming when I look back on it... This time last year, I was in the middle of my second trimester, I had just been retired from the Army, my husband was in the field, we were still living in Germany and I was still knee deep in school. Here we are, just a short year later but so much has happened... I have finally set my pride aside and allowed myself to step out of the role of soldier. We moved from Germany to Kansas and just two short days later we had put in an offer on our first house. I learned that packing up in Germany at six months pregnant was a challenge, but learned that unpacking in Kansas (in July) at 8.5 months pregnant was much more of a challenge. Less than a month later I finished school.
Although delivery was a little bit challenging, our son came into the world healthy and has been an amazing reminder everyday that there is so much life beyond the uniform. Everyday he discovers new things. Even though I recently started working again (from home) and I'm getting ready to start school again, he is a constant reminder of what is truly important in life and helps me to focus on the things I can do instead of those I can't.
So as I look around our home, I see so much... our life together in the pictures we have picked up at places we have travelled, the random furniture that is pieced together of our life in different places, the different military memorabilia that has chronicled this far of both of our years we've served and our course - the overwhelming number of baby and dog toys they are scattered from one end of the room to another on a daily basis. Our life may not be perfect to some, but to us - it couldn't be a more perfect life.
The last year has really seemed to be overwhelming when I look back on it... This time last year, I was in the middle of my second trimester, I had just been retired from the Army, my husband was in the field, we were still living in Germany and I was still knee deep in school. Here we are, just a short year later but so much has happened... I have finally set my pride aside and allowed myself to step out of the role of soldier. We moved from Germany to Kansas and just two short days later we had put in an offer on our first house. I learned that packing up in Germany at six months pregnant was a challenge, but learned that unpacking in Kansas (in July) at 8.5 months pregnant was much more of a challenge. Less than a month later I finished school.
Although delivery was a little bit challenging, our son came into the world healthy and has been an amazing reminder everyday that there is so much life beyond the uniform. Everyday he discovers new things. Even though I recently started working again (from home) and I'm getting ready to start school again, he is a constant reminder of what is truly important in life and helps me to focus on the things I can do instead of those I can't.
So as I look around our home, I see so much... our life together in the pictures we have picked up at places we have travelled, the random furniture that is pieced together of our life in different places, the different military memorabilia that has chronicled this far of both of our years we've served and our course - the overwhelming number of baby and dog toys they are scattered from one end of the room to another on a daily basis. Our life may not be perfect to some, but to us - it couldn't be a more perfect life.
Barracks Lawyers
During my time in the military, especially before I was married and lived in the barracks, there was a common occurrences that I noticed happening. A soldier would have a question, so they would ask a buddy of theirs that had been in longer than they had. Although, the majority of the time these soldiers had good intentions, they would answer the question with what they had seen done or had heard about being done. These individuals are commonly known as the barracks lawyers. Often times, a junior soldier would take their advice and often times find themselves in trouble because whatever they had been told had been against a policy or regulations.
I've noticed the same thing is true on many of the military spouse sites that I see pop up from time to time on Facebook. Many of these sites tend to have the same trend. There are a lot of people that have opinions on things and so they throw those opinions up there as facts and when you have new spouses that don't know the ins and outs yet, you end up with someone in a bad circumstance.
I've been out of the Army for about 15 months now, but my husband is still active duty and I'm active in different military based groups, so I maintain my knowledge of regulations. For example, recently there was a change to a reg that it used to be that soldiers who were TDY would maintain they BAS or separats. Since the BAS is for the soldier's benefit alone, the Army decided to save a little money and won't pay that entitlement when a soldier is gone. So when a question was raised about separation pay, I explained that once 30 days hit separation pay kicked in, but to be aware that the BAS (which is often times more than the separation pay) would be going away. To that I had responses ranging from someone not understanding why housing would stop being paid (BAH) to one individual who talked about two years ago when her husband was gone he still was paid his BAS.
Now, I appreciate the fact that military spouses try to stick together and help each other out - after all, that's why I post information from time to time. But just as the 'barracks lawyer' has become recognized saying - so has the saying 'setting someone up for failure'. I just wish that individuals would not saying anything if they haven't taken the time to educate themselves on the ins and outs, because instead of helping, they are setting another spouse or soldier up for failure.
I've noticed the same thing is true on many of the military spouse sites that I see pop up from time to time on Facebook. Many of these sites tend to have the same trend. There are a lot of people that have opinions on things and so they throw those opinions up there as facts and when you have new spouses that don't know the ins and outs yet, you end up with someone in a bad circumstance.
I've been out of the Army for about 15 months now, but my husband is still active duty and I'm active in different military based groups, so I maintain my knowledge of regulations. For example, recently there was a change to a reg that it used to be that soldiers who were TDY would maintain they BAS or separats. Since the BAS is for the soldier's benefit alone, the Army decided to save a little money and won't pay that entitlement when a soldier is gone. So when a question was raised about separation pay, I explained that once 30 days hit separation pay kicked in, but to be aware that the BAS (which is often times more than the separation pay) would be going away. To that I had responses ranging from someone not understanding why housing would stop being paid (BAH) to one individual who talked about two years ago when her husband was gone he still was paid his BAS.
Now, I appreciate the fact that military spouses try to stick together and help each other out - after all, that's why I post information from time to time. But just as the 'barracks lawyer' has become recognized saying - so has the saying 'setting someone up for failure'. I just wish that individuals would not saying anything if they haven't taken the time to educate themselves on the ins and outs, because instead of helping, they are setting another spouse or soldier up for failure.
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