Distance can mean more than one thing - there is the physical distance, which is the actual distance in miles, kilometers, feet, whatever you want to measure it in; then there is the emotional distance, which is how far you really feel from a certain person or place.
When my husband was in Afghanistan, the physical distance varied from time to time but from where our house was in Germany to where his main location was deployed was 3685.3 miles. That many miles seems significant enough, but there were many days that the emotional distance was so much greater.
Throughout his deployment, we never once used Skype or any of the other programs that are out there where family members can see their soldiers face to face. He was never in a location where the internet was strong enough for anything like that and most the time he was in a place where there was no running water, so internet was just a dream that was a world away. So our main source of communication was a cell phone he has bought there that had very limited service and snail mail. This meant that there were more days that went by that I didn't hear from him than ones that I did.
Even though as days went by there was so much I wanted to share with him about what was going on with me and wanted to know how things were going with him, when we were able to talk all of that went out the door. Whenever I sat down to write him, I would 'edit' what I put in there and I eventually found myself with two different types of letters - the ones I mailed and the ones that went in a notebook in my nightstand for him to get after he was safely home. The letters I sent were about good things happening and full of 'I miss you' and 'I love you'. The letters that weren't sent were full of the deeper feelings - the fear of the missions he was going on, the pain I was experiencing - not only from missing him, but also from all the medical treatments I was going through, the bad parts of the day, etc, etc.
Over time though, whether you share everything or just little parts of each of your lives on the opposite ends of a deployment - that emotional distance can still kick in and can make a few thousand miles seem more like a million miles. This tends to happen to a lot of people closer to the end of a deployment or separation as the anticipation of reuniting and coming home starts setting in, expectations change or situations change. Soldiers may get manifested for a flight to come home and then last minute something happens and everything changes or another soldier took priority and so your soldier won't be on this flight. As with anything else that relates to deployment and military separations, there is no easy fix for the emotions that go into it. Each spouse and service member goes through different emotions than another spouse and service member. The key is to remember - if your soldier is getting manifested for that flight - it means he is coming home to you, and in the big scheme of things, that's all that really matters.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
It's funny how a song can bring back so many memories - memories of a place, a point in time, a person or a thing.
Right before my first deployment, the song 'Far Away' came out and like any new song the radio overplayed it in those last few weeks I was in the States. I liked what the song said, but it was also a reminder of the pending deployment. The emotions were like a constant roller coaster - there was fear of the unknown, not knowing what to expect, the uncertainty of folding under pressure, and even a little bit of excitement to finally feel like you were doing something and putting all of our training to use.
When we arrived in Kuwait, is was mid October and later in the evening, so the full-fledged heat wasn't quite at its peak. Even at that, stepping out of the plane felt like hit a wall - the heat, humidity - it was like nothing I had ever felt before. We were quickly ushered from the plane a large bus to be transported to the camp we would be at for the next couple weeks.
As we were all settling in for the long bus ride, tired from a long flight where the energy level was so high it was hard to sleep, we had planned on trying to catch a quick nap. The bus doors closed and we began pulling away, and then as if by some twist of fate 'Far Away' began to play on the AFN (Armed Forces Network) radio. The bus went silent and it was as if the words were really starting to sink in. We were in Kuwait, we were officially beginning the deployment, within a few weeks we would be in Iraq.
That song isn't played much anymore, so the memories that come with it aren't anything I'm reminded of very often. But every time I hear that song, it reminds me of that group of soldiers on a bus in Kuwait - most of us not knowing what to expect, knowing that it was our turn to serve our deployment and hoping that we would somehow make a difference.
Right before my first deployment, the song 'Far Away' came out and like any new song the radio overplayed it in those last few weeks I was in the States. I liked what the song said, but it was also a reminder of the pending deployment. The emotions were like a constant roller coaster - there was fear of the unknown, not knowing what to expect, the uncertainty of folding under pressure, and even a little bit of excitement to finally feel like you were doing something and putting all of our training to use.
When we arrived in Kuwait, is was mid October and later in the evening, so the full-fledged heat wasn't quite at its peak. Even at that, stepping out of the plane felt like hit a wall - the heat, humidity - it was like nothing I had ever felt before. We were quickly ushered from the plane a large bus to be transported to the camp we would be at for the next couple weeks.
As we were all settling in for the long bus ride, tired from a long flight where the energy level was so high it was hard to sleep, we had planned on trying to catch a quick nap. The bus doors closed and we began pulling away, and then as if by some twist of fate 'Far Away' began to play on the AFN (Armed Forces Network) radio. The bus went silent and it was as if the words were really starting to sink in. We were in Kuwait, we were officially beginning the deployment, within a few weeks we would be in Iraq.
That song isn't played much anymore, so the memories that come with it aren't anything I'm reminded of very often. But every time I hear that song, it reminds me of that group of soldiers on a bus in Kuwait - most of us not knowing what to expect, knowing that it was our turn to serve our deployment and hoping that we would somehow make a difference.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
From Blue to Gold
Earlier this week, families of seven Marines learned their Marine would not be returning home. This, unfortunately, is a reality in a military family. You tend to worry more about something happening when they are deployed, because afterall, look at the environment they are in. But on a daily basis, service members go out on training missions and accidents do happen. When I heard of the crash - my heart ached for those family members...
My husband is a blackhawk crew chief and since he is a trainer, more than half the week he is generally on the flight schedule. Being a prior crew chief myself, I know the ins and outs of the aircraft and of the job and mission sets, sometimes I don't know if they makes me worry less or more.
About this time last year, when we were still in Germany our sister battalion lost three crew members to a training accident when a Blackhawk crashed. At the time, my husband was TDY in the USA, but when the initial reports just stated a helicopter in Germany crashed, that doesn't stop your heart from missing a beat and start your mind on a whirlwind of thoughts. I don't think there was an aviation spouse in Germany that didn't feel that way. It's the same way anytime you see an aircraft crash for service members deployed. Aviation is part of our direct world and you ache for the spouse or parents of those soldiers who will have a government vehicle pull up in front of their house.
There is a lot of things that military spouses wish for, but not ever having to see that government vehicle in front of your house is the highest in that list. I thank the Lord everyday when I get a text from my husband when he has been out on a training flight to let me know he has landed safely. And when he is deployed, all I can do is pray everyday that he is protected and in during those wonderful in-between times when it is just my little family - we take advantage of that time together and make the most of those little moments.
My husband is a blackhawk crew chief and since he is a trainer, more than half the week he is generally on the flight schedule. Being a prior crew chief myself, I know the ins and outs of the aircraft and of the job and mission sets, sometimes I don't know if they makes me worry less or more.
About this time last year, when we were still in Germany our sister battalion lost three crew members to a training accident when a Blackhawk crashed. At the time, my husband was TDY in the USA, but when the initial reports just stated a helicopter in Germany crashed, that doesn't stop your heart from missing a beat and start your mind on a whirlwind of thoughts. I don't think there was an aviation spouse in Germany that didn't feel that way. It's the same way anytime you see an aircraft crash for service members deployed. Aviation is part of our direct world and you ache for the spouse or parents of those soldiers who will have a government vehicle pull up in front of their house.
There is a lot of things that military spouses wish for, but not ever having to see that government vehicle in front of your house is the highest in that list. I thank the Lord everyday when I get a text from my husband when he has been out on a training flight to let me know he has landed safely. And when he is deployed, all I can do is pray everyday that he is protected and in during those wonderful in-between times when it is just my little family - we take advantage of that time together and make the most of those little moments.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Flags half staff
I normally try to keep things pretty positive, but I have to be completely honest... I'm tired of hearing about Whitney Houston. I appreciate the fact that she had a beautiful voice, etc, etc... But come on - flying the flags at half staff was going over the top.
Everyday, there are veterans that are buried and although their coffin is draped with the flag, unless they were killed in action, generally flags aren't flown at half staff. I just think that those who have served our country deserve more than what someone who was famous and drank and 'drugged' their life away.
This is the same thought process I tend to have when I comes to the President. I strongly believe that in order to be elected to the role of "Commander-in-Chief' you should have wore a uniform at some point in time. For someone to be in command of our military and not have any direct military understanding is a disaster waiting to happen.
This all makes me think of two things I have come across over the years:
Who has given us freedom of religion.
It is the Soldier, not the reporter
Who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the Soldier, not the poet
Who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the Soldier, not the campus organizer
Who has given us freedom to protest.
It is the Soldier, not the lawyer
Who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It is the Soldier, not the politician
Who has given us the right to vote.
It is the Soldier who salutes the flag,
Who serves beneath the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag,
Who allows the protester to burn the flag.
-Charles Province
Everyday, there are veterans that are buried and although their coffin is draped with the flag, unless they were killed in action, generally flags aren't flown at half staff. I just think that those who have served our country deserve more than what someone who was famous and drank and 'drugged' their life away.
This is the same thought process I tend to have when I comes to the President. I strongly believe that in order to be elected to the role of "Commander-in-Chief' you should have wore a uniform at some point in time. For someone to be in command of our military and not have any direct military understanding is a disaster waiting to happen.
This all makes me think of two things I have come across over the years:
IT IS THE SOLDIER
It is the Soldier, not the ministerWho has given us freedom of religion.
It is the Soldier, not the reporter
Who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the Soldier, not the poet
Who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the Soldier, not the campus organizer
Who has given us freedom to protest.
It is the Soldier, not the lawyer
Who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It is the Soldier, not the politician
Who has given us the right to vote.
It is the Soldier who salutes the flag,
Who serves beneath the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag,
Who allows the protester to burn the flag.
-Charles Province
Anyway, that's enough for my tangent.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Things to love
As I mentioned before, I received the book '1001 Things to Love About Military Life' for Christmas. When I had skimmed through the information online, I never realized it would be a book I would look to so regularly. I don't think there is a soldier or spouse out there, even those who love the military life, who doesn't have a day from time to time that they feel that living the military life just plain sucks. I loved being a soldier and I love being a spouse, but I'm no different than anyone else. I had days as a soldier that I wondered why I had chose this route for my life. The same is true in being a military spouse.
I guess the difference in how you feel is in the persective you take, the people you choose to be around and what you allow to affect you. I've been guilty of staying around people for too long who no matter how hard you try to help them, they just simply refuse to try to make the most out of this lifestyle. Then after time, they started bringing me down. There has also been days that the weather has been cruddy or new orders for my husband to be gone have come down, etc, etc and I have found myself in a funk that was hard to shake.
There was a situation recently that my husband had to be gone for a couple of days, but I had been assured by the senior person he was going out with that he would be back in time for a post level Volunteer of the Quarter award ceremony that I was being recognized at. Well, weather moved in and they weren't able to make it back and my husband missed the ceremony. Any other day, I would have just shrugged my shoulders and said it happens, but this really got to me. I guess it's one of those things - when I know ahead of time he is going to miss something (which is more often than not), I don't get my hopes up. But this time I was sure he was going to be there and then it didn't happen. I was upset for a couple of hours, but then the bigger picture kicked in. With weather, flying in helicopters can be very dangerous - I was glad to know that my hubby was going to make it back safe to me instead of them risking trying to fly back and have something happen.
I'm not saying every situation has a silver lining, because sometimes it just plain doesn't. But allowing yourself to drown is just going to make every day more difficult as you move through this life. My book has become a source of positive encouragement when I'm having a bad day...
What I'm getting at is there is so many things you could possibly hate about being a part of the military life, but there are so many good things about it that it could easily outweigh the negative. The difference is how you choose to handle the situation.
I guess the difference in how you feel is in the persective you take, the people you choose to be around and what you allow to affect you. I've been guilty of staying around people for too long who no matter how hard you try to help them, they just simply refuse to try to make the most out of this lifestyle. Then after time, they started bringing me down. There has also been days that the weather has been cruddy or new orders for my husband to be gone have come down, etc, etc and I have found myself in a funk that was hard to shake.
There was a situation recently that my husband had to be gone for a couple of days, but I had been assured by the senior person he was going out with that he would be back in time for a post level Volunteer of the Quarter award ceremony that I was being recognized at. Well, weather moved in and they weren't able to make it back and my husband missed the ceremony. Any other day, I would have just shrugged my shoulders and said it happens, but this really got to me. I guess it's one of those things - when I know ahead of time he is going to miss something (which is more often than not), I don't get my hopes up. But this time I was sure he was going to be there and then it didn't happen. I was upset for a couple of hours, but then the bigger picture kicked in. With weather, flying in helicopters can be very dangerous - I was glad to know that my hubby was going to make it back safe to me instead of them risking trying to fly back and have something happen.
I'm not saying every situation has a silver lining, because sometimes it just plain doesn't. But allowing yourself to drown is just going to make every day more difficult as you move through this life. My book has become a source of positive encouragement when I'm having a bad day...
What I'm getting at is there is so many things you could possibly hate about being a part of the military life, but there are so many good things about it that it could easily outweigh the negative. The difference is how you choose to handle the situation.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Footlockers
Footlockers, tuff boxes, contico boxes, stanley boxes - no matter what you call them, they are something every military family knows all too well and most likely has an over abundance of. When we were a dual military family, I would laugh when I would hear some of the spouses talk about how much 'Army stuff' took up the different spaces in their house or basement, because one soldier in a household equals a lot of stuff, but two soldiers in a household equals twice as much stuff. One thing I learned getting out of the Army though is that you would think half the stuff would go away, but not the case.
Whether they are the boxes you use to pack up your really important stuff whenever you are moving from place to place or if it's the box that you are currently living out of while TDY or deployed they become a way of life. A way of life that doesn't always change even when you get out of the military. Over time and use, some of these boxes will go away, but as long as my hubby is in still serving - it's inevitable that new ones will replace the old ones.
Whether they are the boxes you use to pack up your really important stuff whenever you are moving from place to place or if it's the box that you are currently living out of while TDY or deployed they become a way of life. A way of life that doesn't always change even when you get out of the military. Over time and use, some of these boxes will go away, but as long as my hubby is in still serving - it's inevitable that new ones will replace the old ones.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Not always as planned...
I woke up this morning to my hubby being here, but we had no special plans for today. He had to work tonight, so our celebration will be a little delayed this year. It seems like at some point in time or another we have delayed or not celebrated different holidays throughout the year. This tends to become part of being in a military family, but also with that comes the opportunity to make new traditions or some really weird memories.
Our anniversary is later this week, so normally one day or the other is used to celebrate both if we happen to be in the same area. Earlier this week, I was talking to another spouse as I was trying to come up with a way to celebrate the two. She was talking about going to a number of different places from out of town to out of state to celebrate... I brought up driving an hour away to go to Cici's pizza. Her response was 'please tell me you're joking...' I wasn't and I think she was somewhat confused.
My husband and I met while we were deployed, about 12 months into a 15 month deployment - but it wasn't until about 13.5 months into it that I really started getting to know him. He needed a battle buddy to go to the PX and Pizza Hut on the FOB we are on and I was the only one that was in the area at the time, so I went with him. We shared a pizza and then sat outside the the pods and talked for a good majority of the night. Over the last six weeks of deployment, we had many long talks and learned a lot about each other and our backgrounds.
One month after we redeployed, after asking my dad's permission, he proposed while we were on post deployment leave. We had planned on getting married on the 15th of February, since that was three months after being battle buddies to get pizza that one night. Given that it was the first day back to work and the only thing between us and a four day weekend, we figured it would be easy to get to the courthouse to be married that day. Our plans were shifted as we didn't get out of work that day until 5. So the next day that there wasn't work, which was the following Tuesday - my soon-to-be husband, four good friends of ours and I headed to the courthouse. My hubby in jeans and cowboy boots, I in jeans and a white sweater were married. Afterwards, we went to Cici's for our 'reception dinner'.
Of course, it is the wedding I had always dreamed of and it wasn't until our second anniversary that my husband saw me in a dress for the first time, but it's a great memory. It's not the typical story you hear, but we wouldn't have it any other way... So Sunday - even though it may not seem like anything romantic to anyone else, we may just drive an hour to go have Cici's pizza, because it's part of the story of us.
Our anniversary is later this week, so normally one day or the other is used to celebrate both if we happen to be in the same area. Earlier this week, I was talking to another spouse as I was trying to come up with a way to celebrate the two. She was talking about going to a number of different places from out of town to out of state to celebrate... I brought up driving an hour away to go to Cici's pizza. Her response was 'please tell me you're joking...' I wasn't and I think she was somewhat confused.
My husband and I met while we were deployed, about 12 months into a 15 month deployment - but it wasn't until about 13.5 months into it that I really started getting to know him. He needed a battle buddy to go to the PX and Pizza Hut on the FOB we are on and I was the only one that was in the area at the time, so I went with him. We shared a pizza and then sat outside the the pods and talked for a good majority of the night. Over the last six weeks of deployment, we had many long talks and learned a lot about each other and our backgrounds.
One month after we redeployed, after asking my dad's permission, he proposed while we were on post deployment leave. We had planned on getting married on the 15th of February, since that was three months after being battle buddies to get pizza that one night. Given that it was the first day back to work and the only thing between us and a four day weekend, we figured it would be easy to get to the courthouse to be married that day. Our plans were shifted as we didn't get out of work that day until 5. So the next day that there wasn't work, which was the following Tuesday - my soon-to-be husband, four good friends of ours and I headed to the courthouse. My hubby in jeans and cowboy boots, I in jeans and a white sweater were married. Afterwards, we went to Cici's for our 'reception dinner'.
Of course, it is the wedding I had always dreamed of and it wasn't until our second anniversary that my husband saw me in a dress for the first time, but it's a great memory. It's not the typical story you hear, but we wouldn't have it any other way... So Sunday - even though it may not seem like anything romantic to anyone else, we may just drive an hour to go have Cici's pizza, because it's part of the story of us.
Monday, February 13, 2012
When life gives you lemons....
I think everyone has heard the phrase 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade'. Both soldiers and military spouses have to be experts at this. It doesn't seem to matter how much planning goes into planning something, there generally will be hitch in the situation. The real challenge comes in how it's handled.
When I was still in uniform, you see many different reactions when someone is under pressure. Some are cool, calm and collected, while others act like the world has just ended. I was told multiple times before my first deployment that you will learn a lot about yourself when you're deployed. There wasn't much weight put into that thought for me since I was 24 when I deployed the first time - I didn't think there was anything else I could learn about myself... but I was wrong. I learned how to make lemonade and how many ways I was capable of making lemonade during that deployment. I did things I never thought I would be able to do and came away so much stronger for it.
Now, being a spouse, I realize that these lemonade challenges come in a different form and more on a daily basis. Whether it is a trip that has to be cancelled last minute, that darn deployment gnome that always strikes when they are gone or the deployment/redeployment ceremony that we aren't able to attend for a possible thousand different reasons. Each one of these situations causes frustrations and sometimes heartbreak depending on how much our heart had been set on something, but we may cry a tear or two and then we find a way to make it work.
Recently, a good friend of mine contacted me in the heartbroken state. She had planned on travelling back to where her husband was stationed to welcome him home when he returned from Afghanistan. But because of a new job that limits her time off and the constant of the moving timeline, she isn't able to be there. When her husband first brought up her not coming - she went through the normal emotions - the feeling of heartbreak, the disappointment, etc. Then she shifted her thinking... since she wasn't able to be at his home station when he returned, she would recreate his welcome home ceremony at the airport when he comes home on post-deployment leave.
In this life, you have a choice, you can take the lemons you get handed more often than you would like and become a sour puss and hate the military lifestyle or you can take the lemons and make some sweet lemonade and enjoy this lifestyle....
When I was still in uniform, you see many different reactions when someone is under pressure. Some are cool, calm and collected, while others act like the world has just ended. I was told multiple times before my first deployment that you will learn a lot about yourself when you're deployed. There wasn't much weight put into that thought for me since I was 24 when I deployed the first time - I didn't think there was anything else I could learn about myself... but I was wrong. I learned how to make lemonade and how many ways I was capable of making lemonade during that deployment. I did things I never thought I would be able to do and came away so much stronger for it.
Now, being a spouse, I realize that these lemonade challenges come in a different form and more on a daily basis. Whether it is a trip that has to be cancelled last minute, that darn deployment gnome that always strikes when they are gone or the deployment/redeployment ceremony that we aren't able to attend for a possible thousand different reasons. Each one of these situations causes frustrations and sometimes heartbreak depending on how much our heart had been set on something, but we may cry a tear or two and then we find a way to make it work.
Recently, a good friend of mine contacted me in the heartbroken state. She had planned on travelling back to where her husband was stationed to welcome him home when he returned from Afghanistan. But because of a new job that limits her time off and the constant of the moving timeline, she isn't able to be there. When her husband first brought up her not coming - she went through the normal emotions - the feeling of heartbreak, the disappointment, etc. Then she shifted her thinking... since she wasn't able to be at his home station when he returned, she would recreate his welcome home ceremony at the airport when he comes home on post-deployment leave.
In this life, you have a choice, you can take the lemons you get handed more often than you would like and become a sour puss and hate the military lifestyle or you can take the lemons and make some sweet lemonade and enjoy this lifestyle....
Friday, February 10, 2012
Tent City - Part 2
After getting settled into the circus tent that we were going to be living for the next two weeks, the training officially began. That night since weather wasn't up to flying standards, we drove to another FOB for the commanders official briefing to begin the exercise. While all the drivers were parked outside (most of us were trying to get a little sleep while we could sleeping against our Humvee tires), at midnight the fireworks started. Since we were up on a hill, you could see the attacks begin as the simulated exercises began.
The next night was when our FOB would really get hit. We had simulated incoming mortars, so the first thing to do was get in all of our body armor and kevlar. And then... we went out and laid in a perimeter around the tents. Now given, I had never deployed before at this time and I was a brand new specialist - but this still didn't seem like the best idea. Of course, there was some of the people that had deployed before that swore this is exactly how it was going to be when we were deployed and then there were others that said this was nothing like it would be.
Either way, the next two weeks consisted of multiple drills like this, taking camp showers (about every 5-6 days) and baby wipe baths and a lot of really hot days. A few months later when deployment came around, lesson learned was that the rotation in 'the box' was so much different than what deployment was actually going to be like.
The next night was when our FOB would really get hit. We had simulated incoming mortars, so the first thing to do was get in all of our body armor and kevlar. And then... we went out and laid in a perimeter around the tents. Now given, I had never deployed before at this time and I was a brand new specialist - but this still didn't seem like the best idea. Of course, there was some of the people that had deployed before that swore this is exactly how it was going to be when we were deployed and then there were others that said this was nothing like it would be.
Either way, the next two weeks consisted of multiple drills like this, taking camp showers (about every 5-6 days) and baby wipe baths and a lot of really hot days. A few months later when deployment came around, lesson learned was that the rotation in 'the box' was so much different than what deployment was actually going to be like.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Tent City - Part 1
NTC - the National Training Center in Fort Irwin, California.... That's one place that I have no desire to EVER return back to. It's in the middle of the Mojave Desert.
Our unit, since it had just been stood up a few months prior, went to NTC during July. Given that it was set up to simulate deployed environments and large quantities for soldiers going through, we were living in tents and sleeping on cots. Before we actually 'deployed' we had different training events that we had to complete before we headed out into the box.
The 'box' was the deployed representation of our training. This part of the training started out rough... I was a command team driver and we were lined up for the convoy to the box, only somehow the individual of the command team that I was driving lined us up in the wrong convoy. We ended up going out with an infantry unit that was going to a completely different location in the 'box' than we did. By the time the infantry guys realized we were following them, they had lost half of their convoy. Somehow we managed to run into the other half of their convoy and they had us follow them back to their FOB.
We tried to radio the rest of our convoy and found that they were not too far from where we were, so some of the infantry guys drove us out to meet them (since we were simulating deployment - vehicles aren't allowed to leave the FOB alone). We waited for a couple of hours and our convoy still hadn't showed up. By this point in time, I had been up for over 24 hours, as had quite a few of the other soldiers. Come to find out that was why our convoy was taking so long to get to us. One of the soldiers had fallen asleep and hit one of the other vehicles in the convoy. The infantry guys finally got tired of waiting and just drove us to our FOB.
We got there before the security team came through to 'clear' the area. They looked extremely surprised to see soldiers sitting in there when they kicked in the door and got ready to engage any individuals who might be in there. We had only been in the box for about 18 hours and everything was already going wrong - we still had another two weeks of this to look forward to...
Our unit, since it had just been stood up a few months prior, went to NTC during July. Given that it was set up to simulate deployed environments and large quantities for soldiers going through, we were living in tents and sleeping on cots. Before we actually 'deployed' we had different training events that we had to complete before we headed out into the box.
The 'box' was the deployed representation of our training. This part of the training started out rough... I was a command team driver and we were lined up for the convoy to the box, only somehow the individual of the command team that I was driving lined us up in the wrong convoy. We ended up going out with an infantry unit that was going to a completely different location in the 'box' than we did. By the time the infantry guys realized we were following them, they had lost half of their convoy. Somehow we managed to run into the other half of their convoy and they had us follow them back to their FOB.
We tried to radio the rest of our convoy and found that they were not too far from where we were, so some of the infantry guys drove us out to meet them (since we were simulating deployment - vehicles aren't allowed to leave the FOB alone). We waited for a couple of hours and our convoy still hadn't showed up. By this point in time, I had been up for over 24 hours, as had quite a few of the other soldiers. Come to find out that was why our convoy was taking so long to get to us. One of the soldiers had fallen asleep and hit one of the other vehicles in the convoy. The infantry guys finally got tired of waiting and just drove us to our FOB.
We got there before the security team came through to 'clear' the area. They looked extremely surprised to see soldiers sitting in there when they kicked in the door and got ready to engage any individuals who might be in there. We had only been in the box for about 18 hours and everything was already going wrong - we still had another two weeks of this to look forward to...
Saturday, February 4, 2012
The worst part...
The worst part of being a military wife is the separations. They come up on your all too quickly and always seem to last all too long.
From time to time I hear people say something about their spouse being gone for a few days or even just being at work for the day and them talking about how much they miss them. In the back of my mind, my thoughts wander to the fact that I have to remember that the majority of people will never know what it's like to say 'half my heart is in Iraq/Afghanistan(or one of many places our service members have been deployed to over the years)'. They don't know what it is like to do without or to fall asleep nightly to one half of your bed being cold and empty.
I was talking to my mom a few months back and she had come up for Halloween. She made the comment that this was the first Halloween that her and my dad hadn't been together. I sat there thinking and it was the first one my husband and I had spent together. I told her that and she instantly felt bad, but I wasn't upset about it. We chose this life.
Don't get me wrong, just because we may have chose this life doesn't mean that there aren't times that just plain suck and times that all you want is your husband to be there. And it never fails, as soon as he leaves is when the car breaks down or you manage to bust a hole in the wall or you have a bad medical issue - I could go on and on... but that's another thing that makes military wives a little different, the military may classify us as dependents, but I've never met a group of more independent woman who find themselves filling more roles than they normally can count and are proficient in the most random things that as one point or another is a skill they picked up along their journey.
So yes, the worst part is when those duffle bags are unpacked and they are getting ready to head somewhere whether it is for a day, month or a year - but when you are reunited and get to have that first kiss all over again - well, we wouldn't have it any other way.
From time to time I hear people say something about their spouse being gone for a few days or even just being at work for the day and them talking about how much they miss them. In the back of my mind, my thoughts wander to the fact that I have to remember that the majority of people will never know what it's like to say 'half my heart is in Iraq/Afghanistan(or one of many places our service members have been deployed to over the years)'. They don't know what it is like to do without or to fall asleep nightly to one half of your bed being cold and empty.
I was talking to my mom a few months back and she had come up for Halloween. She made the comment that this was the first Halloween that her and my dad hadn't been together. I sat there thinking and it was the first one my husband and I had spent together. I told her that and she instantly felt bad, but I wasn't upset about it. We chose this life.
Don't get me wrong, just because we may have chose this life doesn't mean that there aren't times that just plain suck and times that all you want is your husband to be there. And it never fails, as soon as he leaves is when the car breaks down or you manage to bust a hole in the wall or you have a bad medical issue - I could go on and on... but that's another thing that makes military wives a little different, the military may classify us as dependents, but I've never met a group of more independent woman who find themselves filling more roles than they normally can count and are proficient in the most random things that as one point or another is a skill they picked up along their journey.
So yes, the worst part is when those duffle bags are unpacked and they are getting ready to head somewhere whether it is for a day, month or a year - but when you are reunited and get to have that first kiss all over again - well, we wouldn't have it any other way.
Friday, February 3, 2012
PFC Pastey
This is one my mom thought was funny and reminded me about the other day... During one session of D&C or learning how to march, we had a substitute drill sergeant. I was one of the soldiers they were using as examples as we were clumbsily trying to complete the moves they were teaching. As the drill sergeant was having issues with remembering our names, he came up with nicknames. He was going down the row and telling us what our nickname was going to be.
He hollared at me as he tried to pronounce my last name and determined my new name was going to be PFC Pastey (I have red hair with fair skin). He proceeded to ask me where I was from, which I responded 'Kansas, Drill Sergeant', he then asked whether there was sun in Kansas.... after I responded yes, he asked what kind of sunscreen I needed - SPF 3,000,000??? Even though it was a very short situation, the name stuck and I remained PFC Pastey by many of my battle buddies for the remainder of the cycle.
He hollared at me as he tried to pronounce my last name and determined my new name was going to be PFC Pastey (I have red hair with fair skin). He proceeded to ask me where I was from, which I responded 'Kansas, Drill Sergeant', he then asked whether there was sun in Kansas.... after I responded yes, he asked what kind of sunscreen I needed - SPF 3,000,000??? Even though it was a very short situation, the name stuck and I remained PFC Pastey by many of my battle buddies for the remainder of the cycle.
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