Someone to miss

Today is Valentine's Day, which I've found that those whose service members are deployed look at it much the same as someone who is single of that day.  They are beyond over the mushy, gushy expressions of love that are shown in so many shades of pink and red that it's not even worth counting.  But it's none the less another holiday.

I'm thankful to have my husband home this year, but like most years, it's a pretty normal day in our house.  As I was thinking of the holidays, birthdays, and other points of interest that he's been home for that he originally wasn't supposed to be home for, I started thinking of how the world is flipped sometimes.

Last year, he was home for Valentine's Day, but I watched from a distance as many friends celebrated alone because their soldier was deployed.  Next year when the spouses that are alone this year will have their soldier home another spouse will be spending theirs alone.  It's a constant cycle of swapping, for one soldier to be home, another will be away from there family.

It's really no different than the exciting time of a unit coming home, there are special outfits bought and homecoming signs made, a special night out planned, I could go on and on.  As one family is preparing to run into their soldiers arms, just a few weeks before another family was watching their soldier march with a formation out the door.

Back to my original thought process...  For many this is the first day of love that they are spending apart.  For others, missing holidays and other special days has become such a common thing that they have lost count of how many have been missed, but know that the number of missed is probably going to be higher than the number they are here for.

I remember back when as a single soldier, I went through those first round of missed special days.  My first Thanksgiving I missed was just two days into basic training.  My first missed birthday was spent hoping that no one caught on to it being my birthday because the drill sergeants seemed to get joy out of helping a soldier celebrate by smoking them until they threw up.

After our wedding, the first day we missed was my husband's birthday, just a couple months into being married, then the list grew from there.  As the missed events have increased and hit that balance where more are apart than together, we have learned a very important lesson.  In a population that has a very high divorce rate - it's not the holiday or the special event that's important, it's the fact that you have someone who is worth missing those days for.  Someone who is worth missing all the other days in between for.  Someone who is worth saying goodbye to because you know the hello will be so much sweeter.