A life known to few, but many

Those that wear this great countries uniform make up less than 1% of the general population.  Based on the average service member having parents, one sibling, a spouse and a child, that means that for every one of those 1%, there is five people that support that 1%.  That leaves at least 95% of the general population at this very moment that are not directly connected to the military at this very moment.  When you factor in veterans and military families from past conflicts, that number goes to maybe, MAYBE 80% that has never had military affiliation.  

Even now as we are some part of that smaller percentage, at one point in time we were part of that other 95% that didn't fully understand the reality of the military.  In 2006 when I was getting ready to deploy for the first time, I looked up to those soldiers who had been deployed before I had even initially enlisted.  When I got back in 2008, there was a whole new round of privates that looked to us as the seasoned veterans because we had been to the sandbox.  

When deployment came around again in 2009, those that were going into their first deployment looked to those who had been deployed before to tell them what to expect.  Those that had deployed before they had joined the Army.  

The same is true on the other side of the coin.  As the family of a service member, we are still a part of a very small minority of the general population.  A general population that will never understand what going through a deployment is like, but we have to take a moment and realize there was a point in time that we were a part of that general population as well.  Eight years ago, as my family was gearing up for my first deployment, there were families out there that would never be in that position, but there were also families that were heading into their second or third deployment.  

Those in the general population will never fully understand the military life.  They won't know what it's like to miss the birth of their first child or to miss birthday after birthday.  They won't know what it's like to have been married for a number of years and have spent over half of that apart.  Next week, my husband and I will have been married six years, of that, we have spent over half of it apart.  But that doesn't give us the right to look down on those who are missing their first round of holidays apart or to those who will never be in that position at all.  No different than those spouses who have done this for years before we were apart of this life can look down upon us.  Within that seasoned population, I think you will find a group of mature spouses, who have done this year in and year out.  They know how to make the best out of a less than perfect situation.  They do one simple thing, that's one of the hardest things to do, but it's done over and over again - they bloom where they are planted.  

No matter how you slice it or dice it - at least 80% of the general population will never walk in these boots or shoes or flip flips or whatever your footwear of choice is.  They are a population that will always be outside the snow globe we call military life and never really understand why we continue to live in a life that is always shook up and never lands quite the same.  But they will also never know the tears as our soldiers walk away or that first kiss that we have over and over again, the creative ways to celebrate those missed holidays or the ways we help our children get through the ups and downs.  Some of the strongest and bravest individuals I have ever met and I will ever know are those that I have stood next to in uniform, those that I now stand with in the silent ranks and those military brats who endure things in their short childhood that many outside the military won't experience in their whole life.  

There are always negatives that come with any path we choose.  There is never going to be a perfect life that doesn't have any problems, but we can choose to focus on what we are missing that others aren't or we can focus on the fact that we have someone so important in our life that they are worth missing.