Five years ago today, I found myself back American soil after being deployed for 15 months. It was my first experience in a combat zone and during that extended time frame I was there, my perspective on things changed.
I joined the Army in November 2004 - well after 9/11 and well into knowing that joining meant deploying. Yet as I stood in the gym on Fort Hood in October 2006, I was scared. Those in our unit that had deployed before had told us their experience and given a rough idea of what to expect, but no two stories are the same, no two experiences are the same. I was walking onto the bus blindly after having made one last call to my family and prepared for what was coming.
The first step off the plane was a quick entry to reality, with my M16 slung across my back I hit the wall of heat and sand that is Kuwait. We were here, there was no turning back. After a few short weeks in Kuwait and a lot of training, we once again loaded a plane that would take us into Iraq.
Over the next 15 months, I would gain a whole new perspective - on myself, on those I worked with, on the true sacrifice that comes with war. I reenlisted a few months into the deployment, lost my grandfather less than a month later and then shortly after that my dream of flying came true.
I started progression on a door gunner - the only female door gunner in our brigade. My days were spent with learning the ins and outs of what made blackhawks fly, doing basic maintenance and learning how to shoot a machine gun while in flight.
During my last progression flight, the sacrifices that are laid down by our service members became more real than it had ever been. We had an add on mission - a Hero Mission. As we were going into land at FOB Washington, the FI (Flight Instructor) I was flying with briefed me on what our role was. After landing, we each got out of the aircraft and took up our respective places and waited for the individuals from the hospital to bring the soldier who had been killed in action out to the aircraft. As soon as they made their way into site, I was overcome with emotion. They were carrying a stretcher draped with a flag. As they passed under the rotors, we all saluted as we began this soldiers final trip home. This was the first of multiple Hero Missions I would have the honor of being a part of throughout the rest of the deployment.
A few months later my cousin, who was deployed the same time frame I was, would hit yet another IED and find himself MEDEVACd yet again. My unit allowed a few visits when time allowed for us to coordinate flights for me to visit him or him to visit me. We had ran into each other in Kuwait, the first time I saw him after that was eight months later. Being an infantry soldier - he had spent his time in a turret on convoys. That short time frame had changed him, but we were able to have a good visit, then he showed me the humvee he had been in during his most recent IED encounter. That was another moment of emotions that I can't describe. Shortly after returning from deployment, the MEB process was started for him, which ended with a medical separation.
Another few months had passed and I found myself with a simple injury while out on a mission that would progressively get worse through the rest of the deployment and after another deployment would eventually result in my own medical retirement.
In the last months of deployment, a lot of things would change for me. The soldier of the month board became something I excelled at and would continue finding myself as a board soldier for the remainder of my short career. I met another soldier who I flew on missions with that just six weeks after we returned from deployment would become my husband.
As I marched across that parade field that afternoon, I spotted my family and everything started sinking in. During the deployment, carrying a gun - whether a 9mm pistol, M4 or M16 rifle or a 240 machine guns were a daily thing, getting shot at and the sound of mortars coming in became something you were used it, those that had been acquaintances had become like family, some of those that had I been close to became distant memories and at times those family members became a much needed lifeline.
Looking back today, I'm thankful for that time. Even though it meant a lost of missed holidays and celebrations, it also made me a different person and changed the course of my life for the better.
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