Transitions

Dual military is a term that is becoming more popular among service members anymore.  My husband and I fell in that category for a large part of our four year marriage.  Right before my husband came back from his last deployment, I received an upgrade to my permanent profile that would later mean the end of my Army career.  As I neared my separation date, I wasn’t really sure what to expect.  Since my husband was still active, we stayed at our current duty station until six months after my separation. 

During that time I struggled.  Being dual military and at the time we didn’t have kids, our whole world revolved around the Army and being soldiers.  I would run into former soldiers who had been moved to other units prior to my retirement process and they would still call me SSG King and each time I would smile and tell them it’s just Mindy now…  But inside, I missed it.  I missed flying, I missed wearing a uniform, I missed going to work every day (at the time we were stationed in Germany and jobs were very hard to come by, especially when they knew your spouse was already on orders to PCS). 

Over that six months while we were pending our move back to the states, I kept getting bigger and bigger.  It was a good kind of bigger though.  Shortly after I was retired, we found out that we were expecting our first child.  The emotions that came with being pregnant and missing this former self of mine became overwhelming at times.  During that period, I was also diagnosed with combat related PTSD. 

I felt like I was in a downward spiral, but then I realized something.  I wasn’t done helping soldiers.  I may no longer wear the uniform, I will never deploy again, but there were other things I could do.  Over the last fifteen months, besides welcome the most amazing little boy into the world, I have put in hundreds of hours of volunteer time – from helping with the thrift shop on post to working food booths at bizarres and payday cafes.  I’m an active volunteer with the National Military Family Association and within a few weeks of our arrival at Fort Riley, I became my husband’s units FRG co-leader.  I have found other ways to serve, by helping soldiers and their families… 

I now stand among the silent ranks…  I wear a uniform, but now it consists of a company logo tshirt instead of camo.  I serve standing beside my husband as he proudly wears the official uniform.  Looking back, I know my struggle was with my identity and a lot of it had to do with pride and there are days that I still miss serving, but looking at what I have been able to do since then, I wouldn’t change a thing.