Problem soldier

I hadn't even been an NCO a month when I found myself in the commander's office.

Earlier that morning, my squad leader approached me because two of the junior enlisted soldiers were scheduled to have their article 15 read to them and their NCOs weren't available to provide a 'defense' statement for them.  He asked me if I would be willing to go in and speak with the commander.  Knowing both the soldiers and had worked with them, I knew the reason they were in trouble was not necessarily out of character for them, but a little more severe than their normal antics. 

 While in Al Asad, Iraq, he completed the Marine Corps
Corporals Course

While out one weekend, they had found themselves in a fight with soldiers from another battalion.  When it was all said and done, the other five soldiers ended up in the hospital and they weren't much worse for the wear.  The soldiers were sorry though and they were good soldiers who had done something that most young soldiers will do at some point in time, they made a mistake.

As I'm standing there in the commander's office and I listen to someone who barely knows these soldiers names try to explain to the commander that they are nothing but trouble makers and deserve to be punished to the full extent, my 'fear' of the position I was in disappeared and my anger over this individuals lack of leadership kicked in.  After listening to what he had to say, I respectfully told him he didn't know what he was talking about and explained to the commander my first hand daily interactions with the soldiers.  After I had said my part, I was told my portion was done and I was free to go. 

A little while later on the hangar floor, I was tackled by those two soldiers.  Apparently, the commander had intended on punishing them to the max extent, which was a possible field grade, but after hearing what I had said about the soldiers, he changed his mind.  The soldiers still found themselves on extra duty for quite a while, but they had learned their lesson.

In this situation, I had learned something extremely important about leadership as well.  The soldiers simply needed someone who trusted and believed in them.  From that day forward, neither of those soldiers ever got in trouble again. 

Over the course of the last few years, I have kept in touch with one of these soldiers.  Although I still see that young, immature soldier in him - the changes in him have been completely amazing.  We deployed together and when I found out I was leaving to head back early, he was there with a positive word and a hug to send me back with. 

When the unit returned from deployment, I witnessed the changes that a deployment as a MEDEVAC crew chief can cause in soldiers.  I witnessed, through pictures, his wedding to a fellow soldier.  Then a little less than a year later, they welcomed their first child.  Both his wife and him has since left the service, but they have continued to grow.  He has become a real estate agent, she is going to school and they are expecting their second child any day now.  Even though he is less than ten years younger than me, he seems like one of my kids and I couldn't be more proud of the person he has become!

This entry is written by a wonderful lady, who contacted me recently about collaborating on a blog.  Please take a moment to read and share as you see fit:

How to Defeat the Myths That Hinder Your Job Search

 

Few people enjoy looking for a new job, and the prospect of transitioning from a military career to a civilian one can be overwhelming to think about. Even if you’re excited about the possibility of change, the reality of it, couples with common myths, can bring some fear with it. The broad range of myths that serve to discourage or mislead job seekers can make things seem even more daunting than they really are. So, what should you do?

 

First, let’s take a look at a few of those myths and learn how to debunk them with their actual truths!

 

Myth #1: Time in active duty or time spent recovery from combat injuries will hurt my ability to find a job with companies that are looking for “consistent” employees.

Truth: There is no reason for potential employers to think that your military service will limit your ability to show up for work, and companies are actually prevented by law from actively discriminating against veterans. In fact, some laws actually provide benefits to companies who employ veterans with certain qualifications or who became disabled during their service time.

 

Myth #2: Most potential employers don’t care about applicants.

Truth: Today’s companies understand the fierce competition in the marketplace, and they want to hire top talent. Many companies will make accommodations to ensure that top job candidates do not fall through the cracks. Some companies offer the option of working from home. Other tech-savvy Fortune-500 companies, such as GM and AT&T, work with JIBE, a company specializing in mobile recruiting, to supply handy online application services to help potential employees upload their résumés easily from computers, tablets or smart phones.

 

Myth #3: You’ll get a good job more quickly by applying to as many jobs as possible.

Truth: Not every job is well suited to you, and applying to a bunch of jobs without researching positions and companies can be more of a waste of time than actually helping you. Instead of apply for every job opening you find, take the time to choose jobs you think would be a great fit for you. Look for jobs you would enjoy and companies whose practices you respect. Then spend time crafting your resume, learning more about these jobs, and preparing yourself for getting the job you want with an employer who will value what you bring to the company.

 

Myth #4: No companies specifically seek to hire military veterans.

Truth: Actually, many companies seek to hire military veterans, and government incentive programs for the employment of veterans is helping to grow the number of employers who fall into this category. For assistance in finding companies who are looking for military veterans, go to VeteranJobListings.com.

 

Yes, changes can be challenging. When transitioning from military duty to civilian life, it may take time to find the job that is right for you. Along the way, however, you will find resources to help you. As you debunk the myths about job searching, you’ll find the process to be much easier than you might have imagined, and an opportunity to chase a dream you always wished you could fulfill!

 

Emma is a mid 20-something year old with a passion for life, love, fitness, and helping others. She loves to be active and get involved in as many sport and community activities as possible. Emma is currently studying to become a Career & Life Coach, and loves to network with people from around the world! Check out Emma’s blog at http://smileasithappens.blogspot.com/! 

Deployments change you

Deployments change you... no matter what you experience during the deployment. 

Recently, I was looking through pictures and I came across a picture of my cousin and I.  Our units were in Kuwait at the same time waiting to move forward to Iraq.  He was a young PFC and I was a newly promoted SPC.  As we stood outside the DFAC in Kuwait, there were big smiles in the picture, happy to have family 'close' by.  In a few short days, his unit would move forward to a FOB just south of Baghdad.  A few days after that, I would move forward with my unit to a FOB north of Baghdad.  Neither of us really knew what the next fifteen months was going to bring. 

Shortly after arriving in Iraq, I started receiving letters from my cousin.  We began communicating back and forth through letters and soon those became a very important outlet for both of us.  Over the course of our letters, you could see the change.  They had started out as just a 'how are you doing?' type of check in.  As time went on, they became very blunt, to the point and unedited on what was going on, things that had been seen and the struggles sometimes raging within.

During the first eight months, as he had gone out on multiple patrols, there had been IEDs and he had found himself in the back of a MEDEVAC helicopter more than once.  As a blackhawk doorgunner, my love for the aircraft was already there, but it was in that time that my love for the MEDEVAC mission developed.  After his third flight, my unit gave me a day off to go and visit him.  That in itself was a God send for him, for me and for our families back home. 

For a soldier, it's easy to hide from family how they are really are, especially when they are in a deployed location.  We don't want our families worrying more than they already are.  For them, seeing pictures of us together with smiles on our faces again made all the difference. 

Over the course of the last seven months of deployment, we would have the opportunity to travel back and forth to visit each other a few more times.  Each of those visits were a change to sit back and relax for a few minutes despite everything going on around us. 

About a month after redeploying, we had a chance to visit each other once again.  We were both very different people than we had been before that deployment.  Although prior to our pre-deployment leave, it had been since we were little kids that we had seen each other, over those fifteen months we had been a lifeline for each other. 

We still live in two different states, are both our of the military after going through Medical Evaluations Boards.  We are both married, him with one little boy and I now have two little boys.  It's been a couple years since we have seen each other, but the bond that we forged in those months is something that will never go away.  That bond that someone else has an understanding of the path we have walked in some of the more difficult times of our lives. 

When I was a 'new' spouse

A few minutes ago, I read a blog about understanding how a military wife couldn't love their husband.  It was written based on a comment written in by a young military wife who talked had witnessed what was viewed at military wives not loving their husbands because of how they acted after their spouse left.  She made reference to the trips, activities and just in general 'planning' for when their spouse was gone. 

I remember that point in not understanding.  Mine came in a different point than most though.  Mine came about four months into the last deployment because I found myself in a world I had no idea about, a world I had kept my distance from.  Even though I was a military spouse, I was also a soldier.  Even though we had been through more than our fair share of separations, when he was gone I had my own mission to focus on, so I had never really considered myself an Army Wife.  Then all of that changed.  I found myself on the rear detachment as both the rear D First Sergeant and the FRL (Family Readiness Liaison).  It was my job to ensure the welfare of the few soldiers we had on the rear detachment, but I also became the direct link between the spouses and the forward chain of command for anything military they needed taken care of. 

For the first few weeks in the rear, I went to work and went home.  I didn't do anything outside of what needed to be done.  I did grocery shopping, I took care of my soldiers and I stayed home.  Those first few weeks were extremely long.  One of the soldiers I had been deployed with had told his wife that I was coming back and asked her to get in touch with me.  When she first called me and asked me to go along on a shopping trip to the big PX and commissary (we were stationed on a very small post in Germany at the time), I was hesitant.  I was different from these other ladies, what was I going to talk about, what would I have in common with them...  But out of need of getting out of our small apartment, I agreed to go. 

That short day trip was an eye opener.  We spent the day talking about what we had heard from our husbands, talking about upcoming plans, etc.  As I listened to them talk about plans they had, I couldn't help by feel guilty over even considering to do any of these without my husband.  Sure, we did A LOT of things apart, but when we had first moved to Germany, I had always thought all of our travelling would be done together.

A little over a month later, a trip to London came up.  I wanted to go so badly, but I was wrestling with the guilt of going without my husband.  What if when he got back, it was a trip we never had a chance to take together, what if, what if, what if.  When I first mentioned it to him, it was like I was trying to tell him the most horrible news.  His response was, 'Go, have fun, take pictures.'  I didn't know what to think.  After one of the other spouses I met that first day decided to go, I decided to give it a chance.  So I went. 

When I got back, the feelings of guilt were still there, but I had fun.  Since I had shared a room with this spouse I had just met, we had the chance to get to know each other better and we ended up becoming very close friends.  It still took me a little bit to understand that this trip, heck, just making plans when your soldier is gone is okay.  It's not leaving them out of your life, it's simply continuing to live when they are gone. 

Over the course of the next eight months, that trip to London became the start.  After much debate, my husband bought a plane ticket home for me for Christmas.  He didn't want me to be alone in Germany on Christmas since I had only been back less than two months.  So with the guilt heavy and fresh again, I went home for a few weeks.  After arriving back in Germany, I was thankful for that trip home.  The aunt had passed away the night before I had flown home, so I was able to be there when she was laid to rest.  I spent much needed time with my family, time that for once wasn't leading up to a deployment. 

Later in January, the ladies were going to Ikea and invited me along, this time I didn't hesitate, I went.  Then a trip to Budapest was presented, after a little consideration, I went.  I went, I had fun and I took lots of pictures. 

After redeployment, some of that guilt over going places resurfaced.  I felt like I had omitted him from that part of my life.  We talked about it and he honestly was thankful for those trips, he was thankful for me getting out of the house. 

He knew my transition was very difficult on me, so he was thankful for the distraction of going places and he was thankful for these ladies who helped me see that it's okay.  It's okay to take that trip or make those plans.  It's okay to have a life when they aren't here.  These isn't a moment that goes by that I don't wish my husband was there to share in whatever event it taking place for the day, but I also realize that I can't spend my life sitting at home waiting for him to come home.  No different than he is experiencing new and different things on a regular basis (in a very different capacity), I need to do the same thing. 

So as this next deployment is on the horizon, I'm making plans now.  I'm looking up activities to take our boys to, things they will enjoy, something to focus on besides the fact that our soldier is gone at the moment.  After all, whether we choose to take advantage or whether we stay locked up in our homes, each day is still going to pass and if we can make that time until they come home go quicker by enjoying it, then why not...so 'Go. Have fun. Take pictures.'

Different Paths

It's amazing how many times plans change.  A decade ago, I would have never thought that I would have joined the Army or deployed twice to Iraq or had the opportunity to spend hours crewing in the back of a Blackhawk, but about a year and a half later I found myself in basic training. 

Over the course of that decade, a lot of other plans have changed as well.  I didn't think I would find my best friend and other half in a soldier.  I thought I would be putting in my packet for warrant officer school.  I had planned on staying in the Army as a career.  I hadn't planned on being a stay at home mom...  But then life happened and as many times it does, your path takes a different direction than you expected. 

My husband I met during my first deployment and although we didn't hit it off at first, once we got to know each other all of that changed.  We have been married now for over five years.

My packet for warrant officer school was derailed when I had to have eye surgery to qualify.  I completed the surgery, but by the time the checkup that would clear me came up, I was in the middle of Iraq.  Before I redeployed, I had messed up my back and wasn't able to ever receive medical clearance.

After returning early from my second deployment and being deemed non-deployable because of significant issues with my back, migraines and episodes of vision loss, my MEB began.  Within a few months, they deemed I no longer met physical requirements to stay in the Army and the process of medical retirement began. 

Right after my retirement, we found out we were expecting our first child and just a little over a month ago we welcomed our second son into our little family.  Although, being a stay at home mom at one point in time had been the least appealing option to me, I couldn't imagine doing anything but that now.  Having the opportunity to watch every step of the way and since my husband is gone on a regular basis, being able to document things so he is able to witness them and be apart of them even when he isn't here. 

If you had asked me five years ago where I would be now, I would have never guessed this was the path my life would have taken.  When it all comes down to it, every step has been part of who I am now and there isn't any part of it I would give up.

My grandma

In less than a week, our second little boy will be here.  I didn't ever expect that I would be having a child at 31.  I figured that I would have had that stage of my life done a few years earlier, but here I am with an almost 18 month old and one on the way.  With the back issues I have, this time has been a little bit more of a struggle than the first time around.  As I was trying to take it easy this morning, I got to thinking about something... my grandma. 

Although she has been gone for quite a while now, I still think of the strength this lady had in her.  Standing under 5 foot by the time she was 80, she still had all the spirit you could imagine in someone one fourth her age.

One of the things about her that will never cease to amaze me is the number of children she raised.  My dad was the youngest boy of eleven, with one sister younger than him.  Grandma had my dad one day after her 40th birthday.  I can't imagine having a newborn at 40 or having another one a couple years later, but she did. 

She managed to stretch meals to feed this full household.  Which I know caused some confusion for my dad when he married my mom.  The first time she made meatloaf, he said there was too much meat to it.  Over the years, grandma's meatloaf had been more of a bread load to allow for everyone to get enough. 

I guess at times when my son is having a bad day or I'm not feeling so well, it helps to think back to the struggles she faced from surviving the Great Depression to raising all those kids and everything in between. 

Looking back

Yesterday my husband and I had our five year anniversary.  We married after only really knowing each other for a little over three months.  When we first were married, I'm sure there were plenty of people that thought we rushed into it.  Of course, there were the questions of a pregnancy.  The fact was that we had planned on getting married a couple months later, but then orders happened.  We were dual military with orders for two different places.  He was heading to Germany and I was staying in Fort Hood.

Last night as we were sitting at home watching TV, we had our traditional pizza for dinner and it made me really think of where we have been.  In five years, we have lived in three different countries and three different states, plus a number of other temporary duties that have found us in a number of other locations.  There has been time spent in Iraq and Afghanistan, but also France, Italy and Spain. There have been promotions, awards and learning how to understand the MEB process.  We have welcomed a little one into the world and are expecting our second in the next couple weeks.  We have spent about half the time we have been married apart from each other, but that is just part of the military life. 

Looking back, it's amazing to think about everything that we have gone through in such a short period of time.  We wouldn't change this journey for anything though, because in it was have found that although some thought we were rushing - we knew what we were doing. 

Our wedding day Feb 19, 2008 - Texas

December 2008 - Paris

May 2009 - Promotion to CPL

June 2009 - Deployment #2

September 2009 - Our crew chiefs in Iraq

Midtour - we renewed our vows on our second anniversary in a castle

June 2010 - Redeployment from Afghanistan

 
July 2010- Venice

July 2010 - My promotion to SSG

June 2011 - maternity pics in Ansbach, Germany

September 2011 - our son was born in Kansas

November 2012 - Promotion and Distinguished Honor Graduate at ALC

December 2012 - Maternity pictures for our second little guy