Spouse and Veteran

In my former life...  my days as a soldier, I never really thought about what not being a soldier would be like.

Now, it's been over six years since I've worn a uniform and there's days I still feel like I fell off a ride somewhere.

I was a soldier before I was a military spouse and at times I find a challenge in not identifying as both.  Dual military lasted a little over three years for us before the Army decided I was too broke to continue serving.

My time now is spent mostly volunteering and within that dynamic I've found a lot of other spouses like me.  The Veteran and Spouse.  Somewhere along the way the 'and' seems to disappear and you lose something you worked hard for.

I have been a spouse longer than I was a soldier, but that doesn't negate that part of my history.  But whenever you go to fill out anything for the military, you have to choose...  will you click the circle with spouse or the circle with veteran.  You have to choose between two parts of who you are.

When I go to the doctors office or the commissary or anywhere else on post, they see my tan ID card - my dependent ID card.  They see a spouse who is doing the best she can with everything else that is going on.  They don't see the veteran, the person who wore their own uniform.

I'm proud to be a military spouse and the silent ranks in which we all serve.  But I'm also proud that I understand my husband's job in a different way because I've been there.