Footlockers, tuff boxes, contico boxes, stanley boxes - no matter what you call them, they are something every military family knows all too well and most likely has an over abundance of. When we were a dual military family, I would laugh when I would hear some of the spouses talk about how much 'Army stuff' took up the different spaces in their house or basement, because one soldier in a household equals a lot of stuff, but two soldiers in a household equals twice as much stuff. One thing I learned getting out of the Army though is that you would think half the stuff would go away, but not the case.
Whether they are the boxes you use to pack up your really important stuff whenever you are moving from place to place or if it's the box that you are currently living out of while TDY or deployed they become a way of life. A way of life that doesn't always change even when you get out of the military. Over time and use, some of these boxes will go away, but as long as my hubby is in still serving - it's inevitable that new ones will replace the old ones.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Not always as planned...
I woke up this morning to my hubby being here, but we had no special plans for today. He had to work tonight, so our celebration will be a little delayed this year. It seems like at some point in time or another we have delayed or not celebrated different holidays throughout the year. This tends to become part of being in a military family, but also with that comes the opportunity to make new traditions or some really weird memories.
Our anniversary is later this week, so normally one day or the other is used to celebrate both if we happen to be in the same area. Earlier this week, I was talking to another spouse as I was trying to come up with a way to celebrate the two. She was talking about going to a number of different places from out of town to out of state to celebrate... I brought up driving an hour away to go to Cici's pizza. Her response was 'please tell me you're joking...' I wasn't and I think she was somewhat confused.
My husband and I met while we were deployed, about 12 months into a 15 month deployment - but it wasn't until about 13.5 months into it that I really started getting to know him. He needed a battle buddy to go to the PX and Pizza Hut on the FOB we are on and I was the only one that was in the area at the time, so I went with him. We shared a pizza and then sat outside the the pods and talked for a good majority of the night. Over the last six weeks of deployment, we had many long talks and learned a lot about each other and our backgrounds.
One month after we redeployed, after asking my dad's permission, he proposed while we were on post deployment leave. We had planned on getting married on the 15th of February, since that was three months after being battle buddies to get pizza that one night. Given that it was the first day back to work and the only thing between us and a four day weekend, we figured it would be easy to get to the courthouse to be married that day. Our plans were shifted as we didn't get out of work that day until 5. So the next day that there wasn't work, which was the following Tuesday - my soon-to-be husband, four good friends of ours and I headed to the courthouse. My hubby in jeans and cowboy boots, I in jeans and a white sweater were married. Afterwards, we went to Cici's for our 'reception dinner'.
Of course, it is the wedding I had always dreamed of and it wasn't until our second anniversary that my husband saw me in a dress for the first time, but it's a great memory. It's not the typical story you hear, but we wouldn't have it any other way... So Sunday - even though it may not seem like anything romantic to anyone else, we may just drive an hour to go have Cici's pizza, because it's part of the story of us.
Our anniversary is later this week, so normally one day or the other is used to celebrate both if we happen to be in the same area. Earlier this week, I was talking to another spouse as I was trying to come up with a way to celebrate the two. She was talking about going to a number of different places from out of town to out of state to celebrate... I brought up driving an hour away to go to Cici's pizza. Her response was 'please tell me you're joking...' I wasn't and I think she was somewhat confused.
My husband and I met while we were deployed, about 12 months into a 15 month deployment - but it wasn't until about 13.5 months into it that I really started getting to know him. He needed a battle buddy to go to the PX and Pizza Hut on the FOB we are on and I was the only one that was in the area at the time, so I went with him. We shared a pizza and then sat outside the the pods and talked for a good majority of the night. Over the last six weeks of deployment, we had many long talks and learned a lot about each other and our backgrounds.
One month after we redeployed, after asking my dad's permission, he proposed while we were on post deployment leave. We had planned on getting married on the 15th of February, since that was three months after being battle buddies to get pizza that one night. Given that it was the first day back to work and the only thing between us and a four day weekend, we figured it would be easy to get to the courthouse to be married that day. Our plans were shifted as we didn't get out of work that day until 5. So the next day that there wasn't work, which was the following Tuesday - my soon-to-be husband, four good friends of ours and I headed to the courthouse. My hubby in jeans and cowboy boots, I in jeans and a white sweater were married. Afterwards, we went to Cici's for our 'reception dinner'.
Of course, it is the wedding I had always dreamed of and it wasn't until our second anniversary that my husband saw me in a dress for the first time, but it's a great memory. It's not the typical story you hear, but we wouldn't have it any other way... So Sunday - even though it may not seem like anything romantic to anyone else, we may just drive an hour to go have Cici's pizza, because it's part of the story of us.
Monday, February 13, 2012
When life gives you lemons....
I think everyone has heard the phrase 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade'. Both soldiers and military spouses have to be experts at this. It doesn't seem to matter how much planning goes into planning something, there generally will be hitch in the situation. The real challenge comes in how it's handled.
When I was still in uniform, you see many different reactions when someone is under pressure. Some are cool, calm and collected, while others act like the world has just ended. I was told multiple times before my first deployment that you will learn a lot about yourself when you're deployed. There wasn't much weight put into that thought for me since I was 24 when I deployed the first time - I didn't think there was anything else I could learn about myself... but I was wrong. I learned how to make lemonade and how many ways I was capable of making lemonade during that deployment. I did things I never thought I would be able to do and came away so much stronger for it.
Now, being a spouse, I realize that these lemonade challenges come in a different form and more on a daily basis. Whether it is a trip that has to be cancelled last minute, that darn deployment gnome that always strikes when they are gone or the deployment/redeployment ceremony that we aren't able to attend for a possible thousand different reasons. Each one of these situations causes frustrations and sometimes heartbreak depending on how much our heart had been set on something, but we may cry a tear or two and then we find a way to make it work.
Recently, a good friend of mine contacted me in the heartbroken state. She had planned on travelling back to where her husband was stationed to welcome him home when he returned from Afghanistan. But because of a new job that limits her time off and the constant of the moving timeline, she isn't able to be there. When her husband first brought up her not coming - she went through the normal emotions - the feeling of heartbreak, the disappointment, etc. Then she shifted her thinking... since she wasn't able to be at his home station when he returned, she would recreate his welcome home ceremony at the airport when he comes home on post-deployment leave.
In this life, you have a choice, you can take the lemons you get handed more often than you would like and become a sour puss and hate the military lifestyle or you can take the lemons and make some sweet lemonade and enjoy this lifestyle....
When I was still in uniform, you see many different reactions when someone is under pressure. Some are cool, calm and collected, while others act like the world has just ended. I was told multiple times before my first deployment that you will learn a lot about yourself when you're deployed. There wasn't much weight put into that thought for me since I was 24 when I deployed the first time - I didn't think there was anything else I could learn about myself... but I was wrong. I learned how to make lemonade and how many ways I was capable of making lemonade during that deployment. I did things I never thought I would be able to do and came away so much stronger for it.
Now, being a spouse, I realize that these lemonade challenges come in a different form and more on a daily basis. Whether it is a trip that has to be cancelled last minute, that darn deployment gnome that always strikes when they are gone or the deployment/redeployment ceremony that we aren't able to attend for a possible thousand different reasons. Each one of these situations causes frustrations and sometimes heartbreak depending on how much our heart had been set on something, but we may cry a tear or two and then we find a way to make it work.
Recently, a good friend of mine contacted me in the heartbroken state. She had planned on travelling back to where her husband was stationed to welcome him home when he returned from Afghanistan. But because of a new job that limits her time off and the constant of the moving timeline, she isn't able to be there. When her husband first brought up her not coming - she went through the normal emotions - the feeling of heartbreak, the disappointment, etc. Then she shifted her thinking... since she wasn't able to be at his home station when he returned, she would recreate his welcome home ceremony at the airport when he comes home on post-deployment leave.
In this life, you have a choice, you can take the lemons you get handed more often than you would like and become a sour puss and hate the military lifestyle or you can take the lemons and make some sweet lemonade and enjoy this lifestyle....
Friday, February 10, 2012
Tent City - Part 2
After getting settled into the circus tent that we were going to be living for the next two weeks, the training officially began. That night since weather wasn't up to flying standards, we drove to another FOB for the commanders official briefing to begin the exercise. While all the drivers were parked outside (most of us were trying to get a little sleep while we could sleeping against our Humvee tires), at midnight the fireworks started. Since we were up on a hill, you could see the attacks begin as the simulated exercises began.
The next night was when our FOB would really get hit. We had simulated incoming mortars, so the first thing to do was get in all of our body armor and kevlar. And then... we went out and laid in a perimeter around the tents. Now given, I had never deployed before at this time and I was a brand new specialist - but this still didn't seem like the best idea. Of course, there was some of the people that had deployed before that swore this is exactly how it was going to be when we were deployed and then there were others that said this was nothing like it would be.
Either way, the next two weeks consisted of multiple drills like this, taking camp showers (about every 5-6 days) and baby wipe baths and a lot of really hot days. A few months later when deployment came around, lesson learned was that the rotation in 'the box' was so much different than what deployment was actually going to be like.
The next night was when our FOB would really get hit. We had simulated incoming mortars, so the first thing to do was get in all of our body armor and kevlar. And then... we went out and laid in a perimeter around the tents. Now given, I had never deployed before at this time and I was a brand new specialist - but this still didn't seem like the best idea. Of course, there was some of the people that had deployed before that swore this is exactly how it was going to be when we were deployed and then there were others that said this was nothing like it would be.
Either way, the next two weeks consisted of multiple drills like this, taking camp showers (about every 5-6 days) and baby wipe baths and a lot of really hot days. A few months later when deployment came around, lesson learned was that the rotation in 'the box' was so much different than what deployment was actually going to be like.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Tent City - Part 1
NTC - the National Training Center in Fort Irwin, California.... That's one place that I have no desire to EVER return back to. It's in the middle of the Mojave Desert.
Our unit, since it had just been stood up a few months prior, went to NTC during July. Given that it was set up to simulate deployed environments and large quantities for soldiers going through, we were living in tents and sleeping on cots. Before we actually 'deployed' we had different training events that we had to complete before we headed out into the box.
The 'box' was the deployed representation of our training. This part of the training started out rough... I was a command team driver and we were lined up for the convoy to the box, only somehow the individual of the command team that I was driving lined us up in the wrong convoy. We ended up going out with an infantry unit that was going to a completely different location in the 'box' than we did. By the time the infantry guys realized we were following them, they had lost half of their convoy. Somehow we managed to run into the other half of their convoy and they had us follow them back to their FOB.
We tried to radio the rest of our convoy and found that they were not too far from where we were, so some of the infantry guys drove us out to meet them (since we were simulating deployment - vehicles aren't allowed to leave the FOB alone). We waited for a couple of hours and our convoy still hadn't showed up. By this point in time, I had been up for over 24 hours, as had quite a few of the other soldiers. Come to find out that was why our convoy was taking so long to get to us. One of the soldiers had fallen asleep and hit one of the other vehicles in the convoy. The infantry guys finally got tired of waiting and just drove us to our FOB.
We got there before the security team came through to 'clear' the area. They looked extremely surprised to see soldiers sitting in there when they kicked in the door and got ready to engage any individuals who might be in there. We had only been in the box for about 18 hours and everything was already going wrong - we still had another two weeks of this to look forward to...
Our unit, since it had just been stood up a few months prior, went to NTC during July. Given that it was set up to simulate deployed environments and large quantities for soldiers going through, we were living in tents and sleeping on cots. Before we actually 'deployed' we had different training events that we had to complete before we headed out into the box.
The 'box' was the deployed representation of our training. This part of the training started out rough... I was a command team driver and we were lined up for the convoy to the box, only somehow the individual of the command team that I was driving lined us up in the wrong convoy. We ended up going out with an infantry unit that was going to a completely different location in the 'box' than we did. By the time the infantry guys realized we were following them, they had lost half of their convoy. Somehow we managed to run into the other half of their convoy and they had us follow them back to their FOB.
We tried to radio the rest of our convoy and found that they were not too far from where we were, so some of the infantry guys drove us out to meet them (since we were simulating deployment - vehicles aren't allowed to leave the FOB alone). We waited for a couple of hours and our convoy still hadn't showed up. By this point in time, I had been up for over 24 hours, as had quite a few of the other soldiers. Come to find out that was why our convoy was taking so long to get to us. One of the soldiers had fallen asleep and hit one of the other vehicles in the convoy. The infantry guys finally got tired of waiting and just drove us to our FOB.
We got there before the security team came through to 'clear' the area. They looked extremely surprised to see soldiers sitting in there when they kicked in the door and got ready to engage any individuals who might be in there. We had only been in the box for about 18 hours and everything was already going wrong - we still had another two weeks of this to look forward to...
Saturday, February 4, 2012
The worst part...
The worst part of being a military wife is the separations. They come up on your all too quickly and always seem to last all too long.
From time to time I hear people say something about their spouse being gone for a few days or even just being at work for the day and them talking about how much they miss them. In the back of my mind, my thoughts wander to the fact that I have to remember that the majority of people will never know what it's like to say 'half my heart is in Iraq/Afghanistan(or one of many places our service members have been deployed to over the years)'. They don't know what it is like to do without or to fall asleep nightly to one half of your bed being cold and empty.
I was talking to my mom a few months back and she had come up for Halloween. She made the comment that this was the first Halloween that her and my dad hadn't been together. I sat there thinking and it was the first one my husband and I had spent together. I told her that and she instantly felt bad, but I wasn't upset about it. We chose this life.
Don't get me wrong, just because we may have chose this life doesn't mean that there aren't times that just plain suck and times that all you want is your husband to be there. And it never fails, as soon as he leaves is when the car breaks down or you manage to bust a hole in the wall or you have a bad medical issue - I could go on and on... but that's another thing that makes military wives a little different, the military may classify us as dependents, but I've never met a group of more independent woman who find themselves filling more roles than they normally can count and are proficient in the most random things that as one point or another is a skill they picked up along their journey.
So yes, the worst part is when those duffle bags are unpacked and they are getting ready to head somewhere whether it is for a day, month or a year - but when you are reunited and get to have that first kiss all over again - well, we wouldn't have it any other way.
From time to time I hear people say something about their spouse being gone for a few days or even just being at work for the day and them talking about how much they miss them. In the back of my mind, my thoughts wander to the fact that I have to remember that the majority of people will never know what it's like to say 'half my heart is in Iraq/Afghanistan(or one of many places our service members have been deployed to over the years)'. They don't know what it is like to do without or to fall asleep nightly to one half of your bed being cold and empty.
I was talking to my mom a few months back and she had come up for Halloween. She made the comment that this was the first Halloween that her and my dad hadn't been together. I sat there thinking and it was the first one my husband and I had spent together. I told her that and she instantly felt bad, but I wasn't upset about it. We chose this life.
Don't get me wrong, just because we may have chose this life doesn't mean that there aren't times that just plain suck and times that all you want is your husband to be there. And it never fails, as soon as he leaves is when the car breaks down or you manage to bust a hole in the wall or you have a bad medical issue - I could go on and on... but that's another thing that makes military wives a little different, the military may classify us as dependents, but I've never met a group of more independent woman who find themselves filling more roles than they normally can count and are proficient in the most random things that as one point or another is a skill they picked up along their journey.
So yes, the worst part is when those duffle bags are unpacked and they are getting ready to head somewhere whether it is for a day, month or a year - but when you are reunited and get to have that first kiss all over again - well, we wouldn't have it any other way.
Friday, February 3, 2012
PFC Pastey
This is one my mom thought was funny and reminded me about the other day... During one session of D&C or learning how to march, we had a substitute drill sergeant. I was one of the soldiers they were using as examples as we were clumbsily trying to complete the moves they were teaching. As the drill sergeant was having issues with remembering our names, he came up with nicknames. He was going down the row and telling us what our nickname was going to be.
He hollared at me as he tried to pronounce my last name and determined my new name was going to be PFC Pastey (I have red hair with fair skin). He proceeded to ask me where I was from, which I responded 'Kansas, Drill Sergeant', he then asked whether there was sun in Kansas.... after I responded yes, he asked what kind of sunscreen I needed - SPF 3,000,000??? Even though it was a very short situation, the name stuck and I remained PFC Pastey by many of my battle buddies for the remainder of the cycle.
He hollared at me as he tried to pronounce my last name and determined my new name was going to be PFC Pastey (I have red hair with fair skin). He proceeded to ask me where I was from, which I responded 'Kansas, Drill Sergeant', he then asked whether there was sun in Kansas.... after I responded yes, he asked what kind of sunscreen I needed - SPF 3,000,000??? Even though it was a very short situation, the name stuck and I remained PFC Pastey by many of my battle buddies for the remainder of the cycle.
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